


Double Majoring: A RoyEd College AU

by RoyEdIsMyAesthetic



Series: Double Majoring [1]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending, Beach House, Beach Sex, Car Accidents, Child Abuse, College, College Life, Coughing, Dark Comedy, Double Majoring, Fainting, Flowers, Fluff and Angst, Homophobia, Hospital, Hughes Plays the Piano, Illness, M/M, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Molestation, Musical Instruments, Mustang Plays the Piano, Non-Consensual Groping, Past Character Death, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Piano, Pills, Prank Wars, Pranking, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Rape Aftermath, Rape/Non-con Elements, Romantic Comedy, Roy Mustang Past, Sexual Tension, Sickness, Strip Tease, Strong Language, Students, Tearjerker, Underage Drinking, Wedding Fluff, Weddings, Wheelchairs, Young Roy Mustang, beach, beach party, collapse, nightclubs, the neighbourhood - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-29
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-07-18 22:17:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 32,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7332883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoyEdIsMyAesthetic/pseuds/RoyEdIsMyAesthetic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I know what I want- I know what I fucking want! And... it doesn't matter that I don't have the time for anyone else- I don't want to settle for anyone else! Not ever!"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

_Unexpected things happen._

_Unexpected things happen, or sometimes, expected things happen that have been drawn out far too long- the string drawn taught and the pain stretching on for longer than it should. Like a finger following the circumference of a circle, it keeps on coming._

_Until it stops. Cut short before its time._

_But in the meantime... we wander. And we lose ourselves in a mess until we find our place._

The intermingled smells of salty sweat and the strong, dizzying smell of perfume that hung densely on the young women passing by all assaulted nineteen year old Edward Elric's sensitive nose and made him slightly sick to the stomach. The room that made up the nightclub seemed to go on forever and was flooded by a mass of warm bodies dancing so close together that their torsos almost touched and their elbows and knees knocked together as the floor shook and the bass caused their bones to vibrate and their brains to slosh around in their skulls.

The dark room was lit by colorful lights, some of which stayed static and others which swirled around fluctuated between different colors and tiny patterns of circles and stars which danced upon the bouncing floor. The people on the floor itself were almost faceless- the flashing lights were unremitting, not allowing Ed to see much of anyone. The swish of long bleached hair here. Someone's flushed pink cheeks there. Gold costume jewelry on thin, pale wrists. Plump, ruby red lips, parted and gasping for breath.

Edward decided to push through the crowd and go buy himself a drink at the bar in order to help himself calm his nerves and loosen up a bit. Sitting at a small, round table in the corner, he took a large gulp of the cool cocktail which burned on its way down his throat and warmed his chest and cheeks.

He made a face. 

He didn't really care for the taste, but at least it felt good. Ed turned his head when someone put a hand on his shoulder. Looking up, he saw a blond haired man standing over him in the dark, an unlit cigarette dangling from his ever so slightly parted lips. The man however, reached up and plucked the cigarette out before he smiled slightly and scratched his head.

"Ha, I didn't think I'd see you in a -".

"In a place like this?" Ed interrupted tiredly, completing Havoc's sentence.

"Yeah, I didn't think they'd let you in with your shrimp-like physique and all."

Edward leapt up from his seat, almost spilling his drink.

"I'M NOT SHORT!" he shouted, "AND BESIDES, HAVOC, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO HOOKED ME UP WITH A FAKE ID IN THE FIRST PLACE, SO DON'T BE SO SURPRISED!"

Red-faced, Ed crossed his arms and sat back down in his seat. He glared as Havoc chuckled softly to himself. "You're here," Ed stated suddenly, looking at Havoc.

Havoc looked awkwardly to the side. "Yeah... I'm here. What about it?"

"If you're here, then that bastard's here too. Where is he?"

Havoc put his cigarette back in his mouth and put his hands up defensively. "Look, I don't know where he is. And just because I'm here doesn't mean that he is too."

"You follow him like you're his fucking shadow," Ed said bitterly. "If you're here, then he's..."

Looking off into the distance, Ed paused. In the crowd of dancers on the dance floor, he spotted a man with jet black hair, wearing a white dress shirt with the top three or four buttons undone. In the dark, the shirt seemed to almost glow.

Taking his drink, Ed stood up and walked over, pushing his way past people and not apologizing when he accidentally stepped on their feet.

"Oi! Mustang!" Ed shouted loudly, when he came closer to the dark haired man.

Roy Mustang looked over, and the second he spotted the golden-eyed blonde walking toward him, the color drained from his face. Ed stopped directly in front of Roy and looked at him with a scowl.

"Hold this for me please," Ed commanded, forcing his drink into Roy's hand. Some of the drink spilled over the edge of the cup and fell upon the toes of Roy's black polished shoes.

"Fullmetal, what-"

He was cut off when Ed quickly reached up a gloved hand and forcefully took hold of his chin, turning it to the side. "Okay, now turn your head ever slightly to the side!" Ed said with a devious smirk. 'Kay, that's good..." 

A dark and mischievous smile spread across Ed's face as a shadow fell over his eyes. Sweat rolled off of Roy's brow.

Looking down at the cup, Roy blinked. And a half a second later, a loud crack was heard as Ed's automail fist flew and made contact with his face, sending his head flying to the side and his body falling backward, colliding with a group of very drunk college students and sending them all toppling down upon the floor, landing in a heap. The people who weren't caught in the collapse shouted and stepped back with surprise.

Wide eyed and breathing heavily, Roy scrambled up off of a woman with bleached hair and he put a hand to his now crooked nose, from which a large amount of blood was flowing down.

"Holy fuck, you broke the guy's nose!" someone in the crowd shouted.

Fuming, Ed bared his teeth. With fists clenched, he stormed forward, ready to strike Mustang again. But he was stopped when he felt a woman's delicate hand wrap around his wrist, grasping it firmly.

"Edward," Riza began to say, "I know you're-"

Ed wrenched his hand away. "Let go of me, Riza!" he shouted. He pointed a finger at the man with a bloody nose and a Manhattan spilled all over the front of his shirt. "FUCK YOU, ROY!" He shouted angrily. "AND FUCK THAT MANIPULATIVE SON OF A BITCH MAES TOO!"

"Jean, help me out here!" Riza barked.

Ed tried to fight back as Havoc linked his arms under Ed's, holding Ed back.

"AAHHGGH!!!" Ed cried, trying to break free. "LET ME GO!"

Roy stood in shock as, with tears forming at the corners of his eyes, Ed used his fingernails to claw at the tangle of hands and arms which were now keeping him from pouncing on him.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE I LET YOU PLAY ME LIKE A FUCKING HARP!" Ed roared, "I hate you! _I HATE YOU!_ "

Roy's lips parted, as if he were about to speak, and it was in that moment that Ed kicked his left foot upward, striking Roy square in the jaw, sending him down to the ground and drifting into unconsciousness.

 

**_Okay._ **

**_Now let's hold the phone for just a moment._ ** **_Let's put a pin in that thought._ **

**_What drove me to go to a nightclub and what in the world happened that would make me want to beat the living crap out of Roy Mustang? Well there are a lot of things not to like about Roy (I know that better than anybody else) but I didn't always want to see his ass served on a plate._ **

**_Perhaps this would be better explained if we started the story the way all stories start._ **

**_At the beginning._ **


	2. The Beginning

Edward stood in the middle of his room beside the bed he had slept in since childhood. Letting out a soft sigh, he looked at the familiar eggshell colored walls and wispy white curtains that hung in the window. He smoothed the wrinkles on the bed sheets that hung over the mattress of the bed, remembering spending late nights underneath those sheets as a kid, reading books with the aid of a flashlight. He remembered he and Al bouncing up and down on the mattress, pretending that they could fly.

And it all felt like only yesterday.

Ed finally looked over at the framed photograph which stood atop his now empty dresser in the corner of the room.

"Goodbye, Mom," he whispered, smiling softly at the photograph of his mother. "Alphonse and I have all our stuff packed up in Winry's truck, and we're ready to head out. Goin' away to college, remember? But we'll come back and visit during winter break. If she isn't busy, Winry said that she'll pick us up and bring us back for Thanksgiving too."

"Ed? Al?" he heard Winry call. "Time to get in the car! You don't wanna get stuck in traffic, do you?!"

"Coming!" Ed called over his shoulder.

He picked a duffle bag up off of the floor and went out the bedroom door, gazing inside for the last time in a long while as he slowly pulled it shut behind him.

"Guard the house while we're gone," he whispered.

Ed stepped out into the empty hallway to look for Alphonse. However, when he suddenly felt a tickle at the back of his throat, he decided to get a quick drink of water from the kitchen. After having downed half a glass, he set his cup upon the counter and cleared his throat slightly in an attempt to drive the bothersome sensation off. But it wasn't working.

He coughed once into a closed fist, and keeping his mouth closed, he suppressed the sound. Ed's chest convulsed and his shoulders shook as he coughed more loudly, sending himself into a fit, the lack of air coming in causing his world to spin slightly. Panic washed over in a sickly heat, so much so that he barely noticed Alphonse jog up to his side and begin to pat his back as he spoke hushed words of comfort.

Ed put his automail hand atop the kitchen counter to steady himself as he continued to cough loudly and dryly into his hand, the coughing eventually subsiding, replaced by a salty, almost metallic taste in his mouth, and heaving as he tried to catch his breath.

"Did you remember to take your medication this morning?" Alphonse asked worriedly, looking on as his unusually pale-faced brother forced himself upright. "Want me to get Winry?"

"No, it's alright," Ed panted, staring down at the bloodied palm of his trembling hand. "I'm alright..."

Alphonse almost let out a groan as Edward finally looked up at him with lips painted crimson, a trail of the dark fluid slowly running down his pale chin.

 _"Ed..._ It's getting worse..." Al stated, his brow knitting with concern. "I'm worried about you. Ever stop to think about that?"

Ed gently pushed his brother away before wiping off blood with the back of his arm. "You don't need to be. Like I said, I'll be fine," he stated, starting to walk out of the room. "I'm gonna get cleaned up, so tell Winry I need another second to get my things together."

Al reluctantly did as he was told. And soon enough, Ed joined he and Winry, acting as if nothing had happened at all.

For the past few weeks, Ed and Al had been busy packing their things up into boxes and buying some extra items that they wanted to take with them to college. Earlier that morning they stuffed the boxes into the back of Winry's pickup truck, and all three of them now squeezed into the front seats of the vehicle, each taking turns driving in the sweltering mid-August heat.

Hours passed, and Winry was the one behind the wheel. She was the one who was going to see them off and then drive the car back to Resembool without them, and she had spent the entire car ride going on and on about automail maintenance and the importance of remembering to eat three square meals a day. Or something like that. Neither Al nor Ed were paying much attention.

Al sat in the middle seat, reading a book, and Ed sat on the far side, enjoying the breeze that came in through the open window. With earbuds in his ears, he couldn't hear Winry at all, and as he listened to Smash Mouth's 'All Star' on repeat, he looked aimlessly out at the passing landscape that gradually shifted from rolling hills of green, to large expanses of forest, to farmland, to suburban villages, and finally, to a small city abundant in apartment buildings and long strips of storefronts. Finally, they came upon a less congested part of the city where on one side, for about five blocks or so, there was a long stretch of cast-iron fencing. Backing it was a dense wall of trees concealing whatever was behind it.

Winry made a left turn into a two way street running into this area, and all three young adults tilted their heads as they passed under an iron arched sign with stretched across the road.

"University of Western Amestris," Winry read aloud. "We're here!"

They quickly became part of a long line of cars that inched along the main street of campus. New students and their parents walked up and down the sidewalks, carrying boxed and books, looking around curiously at the academic buildings and the residence halls, and breathing in the new and unfamiliar air.

Ed took his earbuds out of his ears and pointed out the open window. "Look, Al," he said excitedly, "That's the library!"

"Wow, it's huge! I bet we'll do a lotta reading! And look, there's the dining hall!"

"I bet we'll do a lotta eating! Look, those are the academic buildings!"

"I bet we'll do a lotta sleeping, won't we?"

"Have you two even been listening to me?!" Winry cried tiredly.

"Sorry Win'," Ed said apologetically. "We're listening now."

"Speaking of dining halls, you two remember to eat your vegetables. _And_ fruits! You don't want to get scurvy. And Ed? Drink your milk."

"Why don't you tell Al to drink that crap?!"

"Because Al is a good boy!" Winry sang cheerfully. "You'll make sure that your brother drinks his milk, won't you, Al?"

"Of course!" the younger brother replied happily.

Ed pouted and crossed his arms in front of his chest. He turned his head and stuck his nose up in the air. "I can't believe you, Al," he said dramatically. "I've been betrayed by my own brother; what a great day this is turning out to be..."

"It's for your own good, Brother!"

Winry slowly stepped on the brake and the vehicle came to a stop in front of a student volunteer that was standing at the side of the road, directing drivers where to park their cars and telling them where certain buildings were.

"Quiet down, you two..." Winry said quietly to her passengers.

Winry rolled her window all the way down and then had to look up to the see the face of the man who towered before her. Ed and Al leaned over and craned their heads so they could also take a look at the giant. He was completely bald, save for a single lock of curly blond hair that hung just above his brow. He also happened to sport a very thick handlebar mustache.

Without a doubt, he seemed intimidating at first glance, and would have continued to be intimidating if not for the t-shirt he was wearing, at the center of which was the school's mascot- the dragon within the symbol of the Ouroborus.

That was alright.

However, the shirt itself was power pink in color. The giant was also smiling, or at least they assumed there was a smile beneath his mustache. And shimmering around his face were-

Wait a minute. Was he... _sparkling_?

"Hello there!" the student said in an unusually deep voice. "My name is Alex Louis Armstrong and I will be telling you where to park your car this lovely afternoon!"

The giant's smile fell and he bent down at the waist and gazed into the car with a concerned look on his face. "Oh my. You, young man on the far side... why does your face look so awfully grim?!"

Ed's frown deepened. "I've been betrayed, that's why."

 _"You're still hung up on that?"_ Winry and Al asked in unison.

"It's only been two damn minutes!" Ed grumbled. "The pain is still fresh, fresh as a crap on a summer day..."

Ed's eyes widened when he looked back over at Armstrong. He was crying! Tears were rolling down his face!

"This is no way to start off one's first day on a college campus!" Armstrong stated quickly, "BEAR WITNESS!" he suddenly cried, ripping off his shirt.

All three teens in the car let out a collective scream of terror and cowered against the seats of the car as Armstrong showed off his freakishly enormous, sculpted muscles which he flexed with pride.

" _WHAT THE FUCKING HELL_?!!" Ed shouted.

Alphonse reached over and covered Winry's eyes with one hand.

"THE EXAMPLE OF THE PERFECT PHYSICAL SPECIMEN IS EXACTLY THE THING YOU NEED TO LIFT YOUR SPIRITS!" Armstrong said, "MAY IT INSPIRE YOU TO SUCCEED IN ALL YOU ENDEAVOR THIS ACADEMIC SCHOOL YEAR, YOUNG MAN! LOOK AT THAT! YOU LOOK _INSPIRED_ ALREADY!"

" _PUT YOUR DAMN SHIRT BACK ON_!!!" Ed and Al shouted together.

The student who was working with Armstrong to guide the new arrivals noticed the commotion and decided to walk over and see whatever was the matter. He assumed it was "the muscle thing" again, and when he walked around to the driver's side of the car, he wasn't surprised to find out that he was right.

"Armstrong, stop scaring the freshmen," he said in a calm voice.

Armstrong's shoulders fell with disappointment. "Oh, alright..." he said, stepping off to the side.

Before the occupants of the car knew it, a man with dark, unkempt hair and inky black eyes crossed his arms, leaning forward and balancing them on the sill of the rolled-down car window.

"Sorry about that, folks," Roy Mustang said in a smooth voice. "Welcome to campus."

The smile that spread across Roy's face... well, it made Ed's heart skip a beat. And little did he know, it was one of the moments he would find himself playing over and over in his head. Wondering over and over what would have been different if it didn't happen. And finding over and over again, until the end, that he was happy that it did.

"Why is he staring at me like that?" Roy asked with a frown, looking to Alphonse for an answer.

"Oh, it's alright, he just did a bit too much weed!" Al chirped happily.

"Ah. I know the feeling..." Roy replied with a nod of understanding.

"No!" Ed shouted. "He's joking! _HE WAS JOKING._ "

The raven-haired sophomore student directed them to where they were supposed to go and waved them off. About a half hour later, Edward found himself holding two heavy cardboard boxes in his arms as he slowly made his way up the stairwell, headed to the fourth floor of the dormitory. Alphonse's room was on the sixth floor, and since there was only one Winry, Ed insisted that she help Al settle in and unpack things, rather than help himself.

Just as they entered the dormitory, what did Winry say? She had called it something- she had used a specific phrase...

Wait a minute. Yes. Ed remembered it now.

" _Well, this is it_! _Welcome to your second home, boys_!"

A second home.

Edward smiled slightly. He had to admit, he was sort of excited. What was this second home going to be like? And who was going to be a part of it?

The man with dark eyes and the wonderful smile walked across his memory.

Edward reached a landing and a set of double doors on which was a sign indicating that it was the fourth floor. Ed turned around and used his back to push the doors open. As he stepped into the white-walled hallway, he heard a woman in a room down the hall talking loudly to her daughter.

"Sheska darling, all of your books won't fit in your dorm room! You don't want to suffocate your roommate, do you?"

"Excuse me!" someone said politely.

Edward stepped to the side as a blond guy in a wheelchair rolled by with an unlit cigarette in his mouth. Skipping happily behind him was a fair skinned, dark-haired girl wearing a pink t-shirt and holding a panda Pillow Pet in her arms.

Ed set the boxes he was holding down on the floor and took a folded piece of paper out of his pocket.

"Room 478a..." he read aloud. "That would be... further down the hall."

He scooped the boxes up into his arms again and made his way down the corridor, turning his head this way and that, looking at the numbers painted on the door frames of the rooms.

Now that he thought about it, was his roommate already in the room? He hadn't thought about that, he just assumed that he'd be the first person to arrive.

Ed stopped at a door near the end of the hall. The door was ever so slightly open. Ed let out a shaky breath before he pushed the door open with his foot, revealing a small room with white walls and one large window in the center of the far wall. There two small bookshelves and two beds were both pushed against opposite sides of the room. There were two desks and closets.

But no roommate.

Ed let out a relieved sigh. He stepped inside and placed the boxes on the mattress to the left. He supposed that it didn't matter which side of the room he took because both of them were exactly the same.

As he took his black colored quilt out from the smaller cardboard box, his thoughts returned once again to the second man who had leaned into the car window earlier that day. Ed had felt his cheeks grow hot, and they grew hot just thinking about it now too.

Ed remembered his mother saying something about that once.

" _If you can't get someone out of your head, then maybe they're supposed to be there_ ".

Last time Ed got someone stuck in his head? Well... his mom couldn't have been more wrong.

The last time that happened, during sophomore year of high school, Ed had taken his mother's advice seriously and thought that he and the person he was constantly thinking about might hit things off if they spent more time together.

Things went well at first, but it soon became clear that the guy acted like a child and had a bottomless pit for a stomach... but for some reason or the other, he never carried cash. Ed had to buy Ling lunch just about every day and he ended up being stuck with him for the next two years.

"Yeah..." Ed sighed tiredly.

_Ling._

He was sure glad to be free of _that_ dumb-ass.

That dumb-ass had dark hair too though. Maybe he had a type...

Ed jumped when he heard someone knock at the door. He whipped around, and saw a young blonde woman standing in the doorway who let herself in and approached Ed, extending out a hand.

"Hello, I'm Riza."

"Uh, Ed. I'm Ed," Ed said hesitantly, shaking her hand.

"Well, Ed, I'll be your RA for this academic year. I just wanted to introduce myself."

"RA?" Ed repeated questioningly.

"Resident Assistant. I'm a junior here and my room's at the end of the hall. I organize events for the floor, but if you ever want someone to talk to, or if you'd like to sit down for some tea, or if you're having roommate troubles... well I'm the person to go to. Just knock on my door. It's my job."

"Sure. Thanks."

"However, my job is also to keep things in order," she said, reaching into her back pocket. Ed's eyes bulged when Riza revealed a black handgun. She snapped off the safety and pointed the barrel of the gun at Edward's head.

" _What_?!" Ed exclaimed, surprised.

_Aren't guns not allowed on campus?!_

"You _will_ respect the order... won't you, Edward?" Riza asked calmly.

Ed put his hands in front of him defensively. "Yes, yes!" he cried quickly. "I promise, I'll respect the order, cross my heart!"

A small, sweet smile spread across Riza's face. "Good."

Riza squeezed the trigger and Edward jumped when a stream of ice cold water shot out of the water gun and hit him in the forehead. With that, Riza went out the door. With a frown, Ed used his shirt sleeve to wipe off the water.

_Well she could be intense..._

Ed went back to taking out his quilt and bed sheets. He took out a couple of books from the other box and began putting them onto the shelf.

_Roommate._

According to an email he had gotten, his roommate's name was Roy.

Any minute now Roy would walk through that door. Ed wondered what he'd look like. Would he like him? What if he passed by him on the way there and didn't realize! Oh, his stomach is knots... Pepto bismol! He needed some Pepto bismol right now. Swallow that shit. Swallow all that shit like a mouthful of cu-

Ed nearly jumped out of skin when he heard someone call to him from the doorway, the sudden intrusion causing him to turn red. 

"Are you... Edward Elric?"

Wait a minute, that voice... He'd heard it before.

Ed looked to the door again. And speak of the devil, there he was- the dark haired man with a large backpack slung over one shoulder. And dear god... he was handsome. 

"The one and only!" Ed replied cheerily. "You must be Roy then. It's looks like we're roommates."

A silence followed as Roy looked around the room and then looked back at Ed.

"You're pretty short... aren't you?" Roy stated.

A short strangled noise escaped from Edward's throat. He felt like he had just been stabbed through the chest and his heart was crumbling into a million pieces.

The world was silent.

And then suddenly it wasn't.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A PINT-SIZED PIPSQUEAK MIDGET WHO IS SO SMALL YOU NEED AN ELECTRON MICROSCOPE TO SEE HIM AND HE'S SO SHORT HE CAN'T REACH THE BOTTOM SHELF OF A BOOKCASE EVEN IF HE STANDS ON THE TIPS OF HIS TOES AND IF HE WERE ABLE TO REACH THE FIRST SHELF AND A FIVE PAGE PAPERBACK FELL DOWN HE'D GET CRUSHED BENEATH IT AND NO ONE WOULD BE ABLE TO FIND HIS BODY BECAUSE HE'S SMALLER THAN A FUCKING ATOM?!!!!!"

On the opposite side of the dormitory, Fletcher Tringham turned to his roommate.

"Who was that?" he asked Alphonse.

A bead of sweat ran down the side of Al's face as he smile apologetically and rubbed the back of his neck. "Yep, that would be my older brother, Ed."

"Does he shout a lot?"

"You don't know the half of it!"   


	3. Warfare

Ed liked to read.

But even if you aren't an avid reader, you should have heard the saying, 'Never judge a book by its cover'. And even when you look past the cover, and you open the book, and you start reading page by page, it can sometimes take you a while to figure out what the hell is going on, or even if you _like_ what the hell is going on in the first place.

A week and a half had gone by. Classes had started. Ed and Roy had no classes together, thank the lord above, however they spent enough time together in the dorm that they were able to peruse through enough of each other's pages. From this, Ed had gleaned a bit of knowledge about Roy Mustang.

Roy was a sophomore, one year ahead of him, and was double majoring in chemistry and Xinganese. Roy liked to be well dressed, but for some reason he left his crap everywhere. He was rude, but only exclusively to him. He was narcissistic. He was beautiful and he damn well knew it. He was obnoxious. He was lazy. He was self-centered. 

And the thing that annoyed Ed the most was that with looks like his... he wanted a hundred more of him.

With a deep frown, Ed grit his back teeth and let out a quiet sigh of annoyance, fuming as he took notes. It was late afternoon and the sun hung high in a clear cloudless sky. Edward was sitting at his desk at the corner of the dorm room, immersed in his textbook for biology. Like all of his other books, it cost him an arm and leg... although, repeating that in verbatim would be a bit sick considering.

Meanwhile, Roy was lounging atop his bed, squinting his eyes slightly and staring Ed down. Ed could feel his eyes on him and honestly, it was making him more than uncomfortable.

Roy was leaning up against the pillows and laying on his side in a way that anyone who's watched Titanic, or just knows anything at all, would know screamed, "Draw me like one of your French girls".

Ed almost snorted. Roy continued to stare at him as he opened his mouth and spoke.

"Tell me, Ed. How come I never see you take off your gloves or socks? Now that I think about it, you always change in the bathroom. You shy or something?"

Ed continued to take notes. "No, but I might ask you the same. You change your clothes in the bathroom too."

"Sure, but at least I take off my socks! It's still summer; you need to let your feet breathe, Ed. I don't mind that you have eleven toes and fingernails on your palms."

"That isn't true!" Ed said loudly, throwing his ballpoint pen at Roy. "Shut up and let me study, Bastard!"

Roy let out a sigh. "Why do you call me 'Bastard' like it's my name..."

"Because it is, Bastard!" Ed shouted.

"Leprosy?" Roy said suddenly.

"What?!"

"You cover your skin because you have leprosy."

" _No!_ "

Roy shrugged. "Well then I got nothin'." He then paused and narrowed his eyes. "Do you have sex with your socks on?" he asked.

Ed's golden eyes widened and his face turned beet red. "What?! No! Why would you even ask someone something like that?!"

Roy shrugged his shoulders, unfazed by Ed's denial.

"I'm not trying to judge you," Roy said calmly, "I was just legitimately curious. The practice isn't as uncommon as you may think- you know, good things happen when you and your partner are as comfortable as possible..."

"I DON'T SCREW PEOPLE WITH MY SOCKS ON!"

Mustang waited a beat. "What about your gloves? How does that even work? Fingering somebody with your gloves on... does it feel better?"

"What the fuck?! Just leave me the hell alone!" Ed cried. "Don't you have Xinganese to study? Hell, why in the world would you even want to major in Xinganese?!"

With a smile, Roy shrugged his shoulders dismissively. "People can't help it if languages come more easily to them," he sung.

"It think it's so you can more easily assimilate when they finally deport you for being an asshole," Ed grumbled, taking another pen from the drawer and continuing to work.

For the first time in a long while, Roy fell silent. The bed-frame creaked as Roy sat up.

"You have your face in a book 24/7," Ed heard Roy say softly in an almost... _concerned_ tone of voice. "You should get out once in awhile. Lighten up a bit."

Ed pressed his pen down harder onto the page.

_Lighten up a bit? Ha, I can lighten up a bit._

_Watch me._

Later that night, Roy came back from the library with books in hand. Ed wasn't in the room, and he sat down at his desk and turned on the desk lamp. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw something at the opposite end of the desk- a paper plate with a giant molded red gelatin on top of it, in the middle of which was...

Wait a minute. Was that his stapler?

Roy put his chin in his hand, and with a sigh, poked the gelatin with one finger and watched  as the stapler jiggled inside of its center.

Afterward, Roy went to the store, and it was after Ed went to sleep a couple of hours later that he got to work shaving off a half inch of Ed's deodorant with a spoon and replacing it with part of a package of newly purchased cream cheese.

Ed must have seen through the trick because Roy didn't hear anything about it the next day. However, the next Sunday afternoon, Roy witnessed something sneaky taking place when he found Ed sitting at his desk with a tiny bottle of clear nail polish in his hands and nothing else in front of him. He was obviously hiding something beneath the desk on his lap.

"Paint your nails often, Ed?" Roy asked, raising one eyebrow with suspicion.

Ed gave him a sideways glance. "Shut up and study for your calculus exam," he said with a small smile dancing on his face.

That night, Roy went to take a shower, and he quickly found that the bar of soap he was using simply refused to form anything that looked like suds. He was more than confused and rather frustrated at first, but he quickly realized the reason for the strange phenomena.

"The nail polish..." Roy stated, turning the nail polish-covered bar of soap over in his hands. "Huh. Clever."

Later that night, Roy looked left and right, making sure the coast was clear before he took a salt shaker and sprinkled the salt on Ed's toothbrush. After that, he moved onto the shampoo bottle, replacing the liquid with something else.

An hour later, with his hair dyed pink and his face red with fury, Ed would have looked like a flamingo if only he had longer legs and a longer nose.

The next day, Roy was standing in the well-furnished lobby of the dorm, talking to his friends Breda, Falman, and Fuery, who all both belonged to the same fraternity. Ed was passing by on his way out to communications lecture, and not caring much what the others would think of him, he took this wonderful opportunity.

Ed faked a frown and slid in between Mustang and Falman, taking hold of a surprised Roy's arm and looking up at him with a devastated look on his face.

"Roy-boy?!" Ed cried. "Why don't you ever hold my hand in public?!"

Roy felt his cheeks burn and Ed felt instant gratification which him compelled him to repeat the act another three times over the course of the next two days. He received the same result each time.

Roy would get back at him. One afternoon, he went out to a craft store off campus and bought five one pound bags of glitter, or as he liked to call them, 'The Herpes of the Crafting World'.

Ed stepped into the dorm room and a bucketful of glitter was dropped into his head, getting in his hair and going down his shirt and his pants and into his shoes.

"HEY! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!" Ed screamed at Roy.

"STD Awareness Month," Mustang said with a shrug. "The sparkles- like sexually transmitted diseases, they spread like wildfire if you aren't careful."

It was in that moment that Havoc, who was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, rolled past, only to roll back again when he saw the pink-haired boy standing in the doorway, sparkling like a human shaped disco ball.

Havoc narrowed his eyes. "Ed... why do you..."

"It's just a thing," Roy answered, "Edward sparkles in the sunlight."

Ed had enough. He would pull one last prank. But as he was setting it up... it made him feel sort of bad.

Roy had enough too. He would also pull one more prank, but maybe... just maybe he was taking it a bit too far...

Ed looked down worriedly at his handiwork. It had to be done... right? 

_He was a bastard after all..._

Riza sat atop her bed in her dorm room. Across from her, on the futon, sat Roy and Ed. They were silent and each had their hands on their laps and their heads bowed in shame.

Edward's hair was still pink, however, it was also eight inches shorter than before. Roy's hair was still its usual black color, but he had an undercut which gave him a hairstyle similar to that of Levi Ackerman.

Riza looked at them, and with a sigh, she put a hand to her head. "What is it that you have against each other that _possessed you_ to put _hair removal cream_ in each other's shampoo?!"

"He's a menace!" Roy suddenly shouted, pointing a finger at Ed.

Ed coughed twice into his arm.

"HE'S A BASTARD!" he then cried, pointing a finger at Roy.

"Do you two have any idea how serious this is?!" Riza asked loudly.

Both roommates looked up with surprise. Riza rarely raised her voice.

"Nair is a chemical; you two shouldn't be playing around with things like that! You don't know how sensitive each other is to it- it could have burned your skin or made you break out in a rash! And even worse! It could have gotten into your eyes and it could have done a lot of damage that can't be reversed! This isn't funny, you two could have gotten really hurt, and that's the last thing that I think any of us wants! I know you don't like it when I'm upset with you, but a prank stops being a prank when somebody gets hurt, understand?!"

Edward blinked and looked down at his lap. "I understand," he said softly.

"We didn't mean it, Hawkeye," Roy admitted, "we just... we were just playing around. We weren't thinking."

"Like hell you weren't thinking!" Riza cried, "Now I want you two to step outside and apologize to one another and you aren't leaving this dorm until you do!"

Neither Roy nor Ed moved. Riza drew her water gun and squirted both boys in the forehead.

"Out!" she shouted.

Both Roy and Ed stood and headed out the door, wiping the water off their heads with their sleeves. When they were in the hallway, Roy closed the door softly behind them. Ed leaned against the wall opposite and crossed his arms. He avoided Roy's gaze.

Roy let out a soft sigh and slid his hands into his pant pockets. "Look... Ed... I didn't know. Like I said, I was just playing around, I didn't know you could get hurt. And... I'm sorry about your hair."

Ed blinked and looked up. Had Mustang just... apologized? To _him_?

Well, he supposed that there's a first time for everything.

Ed still kept his eyes down. "Yeah. Same. I'm... I'm sorry. However...I have to say, your hair looks better this way, Bastard."

"Really?"

A smile of amusement spread across Ed's face. He shook his head. "No, not at all! But you know... the thing with the sparkles- the Twilight reference? That was pretty funny. I still have glitter in between my toes."

"And you really do know how to publicly embarrass somebody," Roy replied. "You have no shame; people have been asking me about our relationship all day long!"

Edward smiled, a genuine lighthearted smile, and from inside her dorm room, Riza heard both boys chuckling.

"Idiots."

Roy thought back on Edward's smile later that day as he sat in a desk in biology lecture at the very back of the large lecture hall where people felt free to sleep and play Candy Crush on their cell phones. The person sitting in front of him was on her laptop doing a bit of online shopping. Every once in a while Roy's eyes would bulge at the price tag on a pair of heels and he'd look on in horror as the overpriced item went straight into the shopping cart. In between however, he tapped his pencil against his open notebook and stared into the distance with his chin on the palm of his hand.

"That smile..." he whispered softly.

That smile on Ed's face... it made him feel... odd.

He wanted to see it again.

He blinked, and shaking his head slightly, he frowned. He leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms in front of his chest before he lifted one hand hand and carded his fingers through his hair. He let out a shaky sigh.

"Dammit," he grumbled, looking off to the side with a shadow of a blush on his cheeks. "God dammit..."

He took out his cellphone and turned it on, wanting to distract himself from the person his thoughts had turned to.

A notification icon appeared at the top of the screen which he tapped with his thumb and opened. He read the message softly to himself.

_"Severe storm alert. High humidity. Heavy rain, high winds, and lightning expected from 5 PM to 9 AM Monday evening into Tuesday morning in Truman County._

Roy used his thumb to swipe the message off the screen. He frowned, suddenly feeling a sense of fearful apprehension.

Mother Nature had decided to end the summer with a bang.


	4. The Pianist

Edward stood alone in the men's bathroom, gripping the side of the sink tightly with one hand as he coughed loudly over and over into the crook of his other arm. The cough was so relentless that he barely even had time to breathe. When it subsided and he gasped for air, he felt his chest rattle. His already uneven breath quickened as the air became thinner.

Ed then reached across the counter and took hold of one of the pill bottles he had brought with him. He shook four or five of the prescribed capsules into his gloved palm before he tilted his head back and greedily popped them into his mouth. 

He felt them slide down his throat on the way to his stomach- he hated that feeling. But he repeated the process and took four more types of prescribed medicine before grabbing a plastic cup, filling it with water from the faucet, and chugging it down. He set the cup down and leaned forward, now gripping the sink with both hands. He closed his eyes and tried to calm himself, forcing himself to take deep breaths.

"Ughaa... ahh... ahh..." he wheezed.

"Is there something wrong with him?" Ed heard someone say in a hushed voice behind him.

"There's got to be. I mean, look at all the medicine he's taking..."

Ed hissed slightly as he put a hand to his throbbing skull. He stood up straight and pushed the pill bottles and the cup into his book bag which was on the floor. Shouldering his bag, he caught a glance of himself in the mirror.

His skin was flushed. His golden eyes were glassy and almost feverish. His entire body trembled slightly.

Ed ran a hand over his short hair and walked away, quickly pushing past the concerned people who were standing in the doorway.

Ed's shoulders ached. His knees ached. His side ached. His back ached.

Every step he took brought forth a new wave of pain, but he fought through it and went back to his dorm room where he dropped off his bag. He then went back into the hall and took the elevator into the lobby. Feeling a hot wave of nausea rising through him, he stumbled into an abandoned hallway by the mailboxes where he leaned his back against a wall and held his head in his hands.

After a minute or two of stillness and steady breathing, the nausea and headache decreased in intensity. Edward stood up straight and he paused when he heard a sound break through the air- a single crisp note- the single toll of a bell. 

Following that was a long silence.

Ed blinked, and suddenly a series of light and airy notes began to waft through the air as someone's fingers danced expertly across the ivory keys of a piano.

A piano.

Did the dorm even have a piano? And if so, where was it?

Edward almost forgot his physical discomfort as the music pulled him along, leading him to its source. He walked down a narrow hallway and turned a corner. To the right was a partly open door beside which was a sign that read, "University Residences Music Room A3."

Yep, the sound was definitely coming from in there.

Hesitantly, Edward wrapped an automail hand around the door knob and pushed the door the rest of the way open. He found himself in a small square room with pale yellow walls and a brown carpeted floor. Against one wall was a bookshelf stocked with bins of sheet music. Against another wall were several guitars and violins and a drum set. 

But at the center of the room stood a large black piano. Sitting at the bench in front of it was a student with dark hair, a chinstrap beard, and rectangular glasses. The student didn't look up as Ed entered the room and leaned against one of the walls, listening in and watching with awe as he played. The song itself soon came to an end, however the man continued to play, jumping into another softer, and less complex, memorized tune.

"Are you alright over there?" the pianist asked, glancing out the corner of his hazel-colored eyes. "You aren't looking so good."

"I don't _feel_ so good," Ed said, rubbing his aching arm. "It's this damn weather... among other things."

"Yeah, I know right? Humidity gets to ya. It effects people different ways- some worse than others." The pianist stopped playing and put his hands on his lap. "My name is Maes by the way. Music and business major."

"I'm Ed. Biochemistry. I'm trying to get into pre-med," he added.

Maes whistled, impressed. "Competitive isn't it?"

"Ya got that right."

Ed's eyes narrowed.

"Have I... have I seen you around before?" he asked. He didn't think he had.

"Maybe, maybe not," Maes sang. "I'm a sophomore, I live off campus, but I just come here to visit this well tuned baby grand." He chuckled slightly. "And occasionally my boyfriend too! I've heard a lot about you though, Ed."

Ed tilted his head to the side, confused. "Really? From who?"

"You're Roy Mustang's roommate, right? He and I went to the same high school and I've been wanting to pull the shit you've pulled on him for years. Thanks for that!" His eyes fell back to the piano keys. The look in those eyes turned soft, and a small secretive smile spread across his face. "We were also in the classical piano club together..." He looked back up and the playful glint in his eyes returned. "Don't tell anybody he can play though! He stopped a year ago and he thinks his love for Mozart makes him look soft!"

Edward turned around when he heard someone knock on the door frame quietly with their knuckles. A woman with short dirty blonde hair and icy blue eyes stood there in the doorway with a small smile on her face and a violin and bow in hand.

"Excuse me," Maes said, speaking to Ed, but looking at the woman, " My accompanist, Gracia, is here."

Ed nodded his head slightly. "Yeah, sure. I'll see you later. Hopefully."

Maes winked. "Back at ya! But... do make sure you get some rest, alright? I bet you'll feel much better after."

"'Kay. Thanks."

Ed went out the door and limped painfully away.

Roy Mustang arrived back at the dorm about two hours later. The sky was dark with storm clouds, and Roy just happened to be outside when they broke. He had forgotten to bring an umbrella when he went out to the grocery store and now was dripping wet. He stopped in front of the door of the room he and Ed shared, switched the plastic bag he was holding to the other hand, and reached into his damp pant pocket, pulling out a key.

He unlocked the door and swung the it open, and when he gazed into the dark room, his body froze as he spotted a dark form the floor.

_Bang! Splat! Ka-thunk!_

The eggs smashed and the soup cans dented as the plastic bag and its contents slipped from Roy's fingers and fell hard upon the linoleum floor. Mustang's heart wrenched and his lips fell partly open as he breathed a name.

"...Ed?"


	5. Charlie Brown

Edward lay face-down on the floor with his legs tangled up and an arm outstretched, all indicating that he had fallen forward. A cell phone lay on the floor in front of him too- he had been in the middle of talking or texting someone.

But now he lay still. Deathly still.

Roy was quickly pulled out of his daze when a bolt of lightning flashed outside, lighting up the room for a brief moment, although it was too far away for a sound to be heard. Roy rushed forward, and dropping down to the unconscious teen's side, he quickly rolled him over. He put the back of a hand underneath Ed's nose, and his blood ran cold when he did not feel a warm breath against his skin.

Ed's eyes were closed. His skin was so white it was almost tinged blue, and his face had a clammy sheen to it.

Roy shook his head. "No-no-no..." He shook Ed's shoulder roughly. "Come on, Ed!" he said loudly. "Wake up! Breathe!"

Ed's eyes didn't open and his chest didn't rise. Roy shook him one more time.

"Don't make me have to give you mouth-to-mouth, Ed!"

He didn't receive a response. Roy anxiously carded his fingers through his hair.

"Okay..." he breathed quickly. "Okay..."

With trembling hands, he quickly undid the top two buttons of Ed's collared shirt, and then he tilted Ed's head back slightly, lifting under his chin to open the airway. He slid a thumb between Ed's lips and hooked it behind his lower set of teeth, opening his mouth slightly.

No turning back now...

He used his other hand to pinch Ed's nose, and he inhaled deeply before he leaned forward and covered Ed's mouth with his. He exhaled and took his mouth away before he put a hand to Ed's chest. Not not feeling it rise, he pinched Ed's nose again, took in another breath of air, and leaned forward, about to cover Ed's mouth, but just before their lips touched, he paused and his eyes widened as they were met with a pair of glassy golden eyes that stared back at him unblinkingly.

Ed let out a soft shaky breath as Roy slowly and soundlessly pulled away and sat upright again. Ed's lips were moving slightly- he was trying to say something, but Roy couldn't make it out. Roy quickly ran a hand over Ed's messy hair.

"Yes, Ed?!" he said quickly, looking down at him with a worried expression on his face. "What is it- what is it you want to say?!"

"Mus-st-stang..." Ed breathed, his breath labored.

Roy leaned forward, turning his head so he could hear him better.

"Mus-stang, ah- ugh...you...you- you k-k-k-k-kinky, p-pervy, p-pedo..."

" _HEY!_ " Roy exclaimed sharply. "I just saved your life! And anyway, I'm only a year or two older than you!"

Ed let out a quiet breath before his head rolled to the side.

Roy's worried expression returned. "Hey... Ed?"

Roy heard him let out a quiet breath, and he let out a breath of relief himself. Ed had only fainted.

Realizing that he should move him off of the floor, Roy slipped a hand underneath Ed's upper back and slipped an arm beneath his legs, shakily standing and lifting him up bridal style. He wavered a bit under his roommate's weight.

"Damn, you're heavier than you look!" he muttered, lowering Ed down as gently as he could onto his bed.

Roy tenderly pushed Ed's bangs away from his sleeping face, and to his surprise, his hand came back slightly wet. He glanced down at the floor and saw a tiny pool of blood where Ed once lay. Ed must have hit his head hard when he fell. Looking back at Ed's sleeping form, he paused.

Wait a minute.

His breath caught in his throat as his dark eyes focused on Ed's right wrist. The space between where the sleeve of his black long sleeve shirt ended and where his usual white glove started was uncovered. And Roy didn't see skin there, but instead saw something shiny and metallic.

Hesitantly, he gave in to his curiosity. He slowly reached out a hand and took hold of the fabric of the glove that rested at the tip of Ed's index finger. He pulled the glove off extremely slowly, fearful that the teen would wake. Roy's stomach turned as he revealed a palm made of not pale flesh, but of steel.

Roy didn't take the glove off completely- he'd seen enough. But what about...

He hooked his fingers underneath Ed's shirt sleeve and slowly drew it back, holding his breath and pulling it up to Ed's elbow. After that, he pulled it up even farther. He inhaled sharply as a look of horror crossed his face.

All of it... it was all automail.

Shaking his head and trying to turn his thoughts back to more urgent matters, Roy went to pull Ed's sleeve back down again. But it was then that the blond suddenly bolted awake, sitting upright in bed, almost whacking Roy in the face with his automail arm. With his eyes wide, he let out a loud, wet gasp for air. Roy watched as Ed put his hands to his head and looked around the dark room with a panicked look in his eyes.

Roy snatched one of his wrists. "Ed?! Ed, look at me! I need you to calm down!"

"What's going o-"

Ed paused and he wasn't able to finish his sentence. His shoulders hitched forward and he broke into a fit of wet, hacking coughs which caused his entire body to spasm.

Roy put a hand to Ed's back. "Ed, what do I do?!" he cried desperately. "Ed?!"

Ed continued to cough loudly and Roy turned around, about to head to the door. "Stay put, Ed!" he said, "I'm going to go get Riza!"

Roy paused when he felt a hand grab the hem of his shirt. The coughing stopped and he turned around and saw Ed leaning forward on the bed, holding him back with a pleading look in his feverish golden eyes.

"D-don't..." Ed rasped in a voice barely louder than a whisper.

" _What_?" Roy said breathlessly. Ed let go of his shirt.

Spittle ran down Ed's chin as he let out a labored breath and shook his head. "N-no."

"Come on, Ed, you need to go to the health clinic!" Roy said loudly. "I'll take you there myself!"

Ed let out two heavy breaths before speaking. "N-N-No... no... Cl-closed any-anyway..."

He bit his trembling lower lip and shook his head once more. To Roy's shock, the blond slowly and shakily swung his legs over the edge of the bed and stood himself up. With his legs weak, he stumbled across the room. Suddenly tipping to the side and almost bumping into a lamp, he crashed into the wall and then leaned against it for balance.

"Aw, forget the clinic!" Roy shouted. "I'll take you to the hospital!"

"No..." Ed whispered, using a trembling hand to open his desk drawer. "No, I'll be f-f-fine..."

"You call this fine?! You need help!" Roy said, rushing over to him. He noticed that Ed was trying to take a pill bottle out of the drawer, but he was struggling to grasp it with his shaking hands. Roy reached down and took it out for him.

"You need this?!" he asked quickly.

Ed nodded. "Th-three..." he said quietly.

Roy hastily opened the bottle and shook three large pills into Edward's open palm. Ed popped them into his mouth and swallowed them with surprising ease. He then stumbled over to the door, his body swaying slightly as he lifted his hand, about to take hold of the doorknob.

"What the heck do you think you're doing?!" Mustang said loudly.

Ed said nothing and Roy scooped him up into his arms and deposited him back onto his bed, laying him down on his back again. He could feel the heat of Ed's skin through his clothes- he had a high temperature.

With his head down a pillow, Ed began to breathe more easily. He turned his head so he could look at Roy who was still more than a bit frazzled by the entire incident.

"Hospital," Ed said in a clear voice.

" _Now_ you want me to take you to a hospital?!"

"No... Al... and I need to go... to hospital... in... Resembool."

"Resembool?! Why a hospital all the way in Resembool?!"

"Phone call... father in Resembool... very sick... need to go... see him..."

"Is he dying?" Roy asked quickly.

Ed shut his mouth and eventually shook his head.

"Then he can wait," Roy said calmly, putting a hand to his forehead. "You good now, Ed? You aren't going to pass out on me again, are you?"

Edward shook his head again. "No... I don't think so," he whispered.

"Then let's make a deal then. When the storm lets up in the morning, you can pack a bag and buy a bus ticket. But for now... get some rest, alright?" Roy said, pulling the bed covers up over Edward. "Just... relax."

Edward gave him a wry smile and rested his hands on his stomach. He watched quietly as Roy sat down on the bed opposite of his with a sigh. Ed sighed himself, exhaustion finally creeping up on him.

Roy smoothed his hair back with one hand and then rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't suppose that you're going to tell me what all of that was about."

"None of your business..." Ed stated sleepily, his eyelids growing heavier.

Outside, thunder was heard rolling across the sky. 

"You mentioned your father once a few days after you got here," Roy stated suddenly. "I thought that you hated him."

Ed hummed quietly and forced his eyes to open slightly. He hadn't realized that they had fallen closed in the first place.

"No..." he said softly. "I don't hate my father. I don't think I ever... I don't think I ever could."

Roy froze, waiting for Ed to continue.

"Sure... I'm angry with him... for leaving my mother before she died, but... I couldn't hate him. He's my father- he's the only parent I have, I just... I'm just afraid of losing him again." He let out a quiet breath as his eyelids began to droop again. "You understand that... right, Roy?"

Ed could see Roy's lips form a thin line. A soundless flash of lightning lit up the room once more.

"Honestly... I don't," Roy replied, his voice calm and even.

The look in his dark eyes was icy cold like the raindrops that began to patter upon the windowpane. It sent a shiver down Ed's spine, and afterward, Ed felt his body relax, surrendering to sleep as Roy continued to speak.

"I hate my father," the raven-haired teen stated solemnly.

To his surprise, Edward let out a soft, breathy chuckle. A moment later, he quieted, only to start talking again. 

"You know that conversation we had a while ago?" Ed whispered drowsily, forcing his eyes open. "About not changing clothes in front of each other? Well, I... I caught you taking off your shirt once. You have... you have scars all over your back and sides. Did your father give them to you?"

Roy said nothing. But still, a sleepy smile of understanding touched Ed's lips. 

"We are two very different animals.... with two very different secrets... and two very different problems," Edward said softly, "I don't... know you as well as I'd like... but I think we are alike... in that in my heart... I don't think that we could truly... truly... hate someone that close to us... with all of our heart. You're a good man, Charlie Brown... mixed up with all the wrong people."


	6. Hot Blooded

With a heavy textbook in hand and a book bag on his back, Roy walked across the academic quad on his way to the liberal arts building where he was going to study in-between classes. Students walked this way and that, hurrying to their next class with books or cups of coffee in hand.

Roy wasn't paying attention and he was almost knocked over by a passing skateboarder. He had stopped in his tracks when he spotted a young man wearing a red button up shirt and black slacks. On his shoulder was a familiar black messenger bag, and running down his back was a long blond braid which swayed back and forth slightly as he walked.

Suddenly, Roy was reminded of the talk Edward had given him the night before, when he had finally returned to the dorms after having been in Resembool for the past six days. Ed had put his suitcase on top of the bed he had left unmade days ago.

 _"I've been sick since the day I was born,"_ he had explained _. "I have a cough that comes and goes, and nobody can really fix it so..."_ He shrugged his shoulders. " _Better get used to it I guess. Automail doesn't do me any favors either."_

_Ed then turned around and looked at Roy who had a frown on his face. And buried behind those eyes was what Ed recognized as pity._

_Ed scoffed._

_"Don't give me that look. Look after yourself and mind your own damn business, Bastard. It's nothing serious."_

In the present day, Roy shook his head.

Liar...

He ran forward and called out to Ed. 

"Hey! Fullmetal!"

Edward stopped walking and turned his head. He frowned as he waited for Roy to run up to him. "Oh, just my lu- _lu_ -" He breathed in sharply through his nose as if he were about to sneeze. "Ah- ah...  _achoo_!"

He wiped his nose with the back of his shirt sleeve as Roy stopped in front of him.

"Would you look at that..." Roy hummed with an amused smirk.

"What?"

"You sneeze like a girl."

"Oh shut up," Ed grumbled. " _You're_ the one who sneezes like a girl."

"Having gone home is making you homesick?" Roy asked quickly.

"You know homesickness isn't an actual illness... right?"

"Sure it is! You're going into the medical field; you should know that. Your physical and emotional state can easily manifest themselves in your health. You need to get out here, Ed. Take your mind off things. That's why normal people join clubs and sports."

"Can't," Ed said, turning up his nose slightly. He began to walk away and Roy followed him. "I came here to study and become a doctor, not to have fun! Otherwise, I would have gone to clown college or somethin'."

"What about... what about a one time thing? An event?"

"What do you have in mind?" Ed asked, looking up at him expectantly.

"You like the lake?"

The question caught Ed off guard. "Sure... I guess, but..." Ed patted his automail arm with one hand. " Metal, remember? I rust."

"You don't have to swim to have fun at a lake, Fullmetal."

"Stop calling me that. Why are you bringing up the lake anyway?"

"A few people and I are taking the three hour trip to Jenning's Lake on Friday. Havoc's aunt- she has a beach house out there that she rents out, but it's unoccupied at the moment. Havoc's going to have a little get together by the lakeside before it gets chilly out."

"I don't know about you, but I have classes on Friday. Morning into late afternoon."

"Skip 'em, Fullmetal."

Ed stopped walking and shook his head. "Mustang, I've missed enough school already..."

"See? One day off!" Roy pleaded, putting the palms of his hands together. "Just another day off won't do you any more harm, and it won't take you any step farther away from getting certified to perform brain surgery."

"I'm not trying to become a surgeon," Ed said, continuing to walk.

The two of them were quiet for a minute or two.

"You have a car right?" Ed asked, "Because I'm not packing myself into car a with a bunch of strangers like we're sardines in a can."

Roy smiled. "Now that's what I like to hear! And yes, I have a car. Would you like to see her? She's my pride and joy."

Ed let out a tired sigh. "Sure, Mustang. Whatever. Lead the way."

"Gladly."

Roy walked down a dirt path which led behind the entomology building. Ed followed behind him with his hands tucked into his pant pockets. A few seconds later, they made it to a full parking lot and Roy stopped in front of one car, patting its hood as he smiled with pride.

" _Th_ _at_ is your car?" Ed asked, chuckling at the irony of it all. "Mustang... you cocky ass, you just couldn't help yourself, could you?"

It can be awkward sometimes, getting trapped in a car with someone for hours on end. It's even more awkward when the two of you have nothing to talk about. 

Two days later, Ed put his chin on his flesh palm and stared out at the passing trees on either side of the two lane highway. It was sunny outside, and the hood of the dark blue Ford Mustang Convertible was down, allowing the wind to whip through their ears.

Roy was driving, sometimes going the speed limit and sometimes far over.

Ed let out a sigh. "So... you play the piano, huh," he said suddenly in a loud voice. It wasn't exactly a question, though it wasn't exactly a statement either.

"Who told you that?" Roy asked.

"Maes," Ed replied bluntly.

Ed noticed that Roy's body stiffened upon hearing that name, and he gripped the wheel tighter. Ed didn't say anything about the observation though. But... was there something going on between the two of them that he didn't know about?

"Did you... did you talk to him much?" Roy asked.

"Naw. We talked about the weather. Music. You and music. That's it, really. You know... I used to play the piano too, but I quit it for the violin."

Roy scoffed with disbelief. "Really? _The violin_?"

"Yep!" Ed raised his automail hand and wiggled his metal fingers. "Train accident. Needed to fix my fine motor skills."

Roy was silent for a moment. That was the first he had heard about the accident.

"You any good at it?" Roy asked. "At the violin?"

"Extremely."

A smile spread across Roy's face. "I can see that humility isn't a part of your vocabulary!"

Ed didn't say anything in reply. He simply put his chin in his hand again and looked out the window.

"You like Linkin Park?" he  asked suddenly.

Roy blinked and narrowed his eyes. He looked over at Edward for a second before his eyes went back to the road. "Pardon?"

"Do you like the band Linkin Park?" Ed repeated in a louder voice.

"No... not particularly," Roy replied.

"Yeah. Same..." Ed said with a sigh.

An awkward silence fell upon the two of them as Roy stepped on the gas and rounded a curve. Ed gripped the edge of his seat with his automail hand to keep himself upright.

"Why Linkin Park then?" Roy asked as they went down a straightaway.

"Well, I figured that..." Ed paused and his golden eyes fell down to his lap. "Oh never mind..." he mumbled.

"You figured what?"

"I... I figured that you're pretty cool and what the cool kids are listening to nowadays is Linkin Park. How it was going to work was that I was going to ask you if you liked Linkin Park, and you'd say yes, and I'd pretend to like them too."

Roy looked at Ed out of the corner of his eye. "Well, that backfired, didn't it?"

Ed frowned.

"Hey," Roy said, tapping Ed's shoulder softly with the back of his hand. "Look in the glove compartment."

Ed blinked. "Um... alright."

Ed opened the glove compartment and found it full of wide variety of things- fast food restaurant napkins, a mini ice scraper, a pair of gloves, crumpled papers, a bottle of hand sanitizer, band aids, a broken calculator, loose change...

"There should be a CD somewhere in there, " Roy explained. "Take it out."

Edward rummaged though everything and eventually he found an unlabeled silver CD in a clear jewel CD case. Roy nodded his head toward the CD player on the car and Ed obediently took out the CD and inserted it into the player. The disk make a quiet whirring sound as it spun, and suddenly, the sound of a steady drumbeat and the upbeat strum of bass guitar filled the air. The sound was joined by an electric guitar.

Ed's face lit up like a light and he began to nod his head in tune. He knew this song!

"Do you like Foreigner or classic rock in general?" Roy asked with a smirk, also nodding his head in tune.

"Both!" Ed chirped happily.

Roy began to sing with a smile on his face, his voice off key and too deep to match that of the singer.

**" _Well, I'm hot blooded! Check it and see!_  
_I got a fever of a hundred and three!_  
_Come on baby, do you do more than dance?_  
** **_I'm hot blooded, I'm hot blooded!_ "**

Edward nodded his head and smiled wide as he waited two beats, and to Roy's surprise, he sat up in his seat and jumped in singing.

 **" _You don't have to read my mind!_  
_To_ _know what I have in mind!"_** he said wagging his finger at Roy. **  
****" _Honey you oughta know!"_**

Edward circled his shoulders back and leaned back into his seat, looking over at Roy from the side with a playful smirk on his face.

**_"Now you move so fine!_  
_Let_ _me lay it on the line!_  
** **_I wanna know what you're doin' after the show!_ "**

Roy picked up, continuing to sing, and looked over at Ed for just a second, but that one second made Ed's smile falter as his heart skipped a beat.

 **" _Now it's up to you!_  
_We can make a secret rendezvous!_  
_Just me and you,_  
** **_I'll show you lovin' like you never knew!"_**

 _"_ My turn," Ed stated, although, when the lyrics picked up again, they both smiled and sang in unison.

 **" _That's why, I'm hot blooded, check it and see!_  
_Feel the fever running inside of me!_  
_Come on baby, do you do more than dance?_  
** **_I'm hot blooded, hot blooded!"_**

Ed threw a fist up into the air just before the guitar solo began.

 _**"I'm hot!"** _  



	7. Cry Baby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Includes lyrics from 'Cry Baby' by The Neighbourhood

It was just after sunset when Roy and Ed left the highway and carefully drove down a long, sandy road which cut through a shadowy grove of towering pine trees. The tires of the car ground loudly against sand, pine needles, and small rocks as they crawled along in the dark.

"Are we almost there?" Ed asked, looking around nervously. "This looks like a scene from a horror movie where you can only see things in the headlights, and then a guy with a machete and a hockey mask jumps out of nowhere and tries to chop off your head."

"Scared?" Roy asked playfully with a raise of an eyebrow.

"No..." Ed whispered, looking off to the side.

Yep. He was scared. Definitely.

"Don't worry," Roy said with a small smirk. "We're almost there. And you're so short that when the guy with the hockey mask swings his blood-caked machete... you won't have to duck down very far."

Ed gently whacked Roy upside the head with the back of his hand, although, he couldn't help but smile just a little bit as he heard Roy chuckle softly afterward.

Eventually, the spaces between the trees grew more spread apart, and the needle-covered floor turned to gritty dirt, and then eventually, soft, grainy sand, dotted with short shrubs and clumps tall grass. Ed could hear laughter and music playing in the distance and his anxiety melted into slight excitement when he caught a glimpse of the the dark water of the lake and the small strip of sand that surrounded it.

Roy made a right turn and parked the car in a small dirt parking lot which already had ten to fifteen cars in it. They got out of the Mustang Convertible, and together, they walked down a shadowy path which led to a set of warped wooden steps that ran down a small grassy hill and melted into the sandy beach below. Lining the steps were paper bag lanterns that had tea lights inside of them which gave off a soft, subtle glow.

As they went down the steps, a couple staggered up with their arms over each other's shoulders. The brunette woman with bright pink bangs giggled lightly and pulled away as her boyfriend drunkenly tried to kiss her neck.

Roy and Ed stepped down onto the beach, and off in the distance, Ed saw a large two story house, facing the lake. Every light in the house was on, and the yellow light spilled through the windows and lit the portion of beach below where a large crowd of people danced, talked, laughed, ate, and drank. Three or four people were adventurous enough to splash around in the calm, inky black water. Others mingled on the front porch of the house where a large sound system had been set up.

As Roy and Ed approached the others, the music became louder, and the smooth bass vibrated through the air as the lyrics to The Neighbourhood's 'Cry Baby' became more coherent.

**_"...I can't take it, I'm inpatient, tell me baby,_  
_Now I know, you should go..._ **

**_I know, I'll fall in love with you, baby,_  
_And that's not what I wanna do!_  
_I hope, you won't ever lie to me,_  
** **_And if you do, I know I won't be your cry baby!"_**

Ed watched as another couple passed by them, laughing with drinks in hand. He narrowed his eyes as they drew closer to the crowd. And he quickly found that things were coming into focus. Knowledge and sight linked arms and came together as something greater. 

A man and a scantily dressed woman holding hands. Another pair talking loudly and dancing close to one another, looking at each other with blatant familiarity. Soon enough, Ed realized that he was seeing pairs. No one was alone. And if they were standing with a group, a woman's eyes bright with amusement would oftentimes turn to that of an equally amused man.

Double. Double vision. 

Ed's body stiffened.

He quickly took hold of one of Roy's wrists and dragged him off into the dark bushes off to the side where it was quiet and the forest began again.

"Fullmetal, what-"

With a scowl, Ed roughly swung Roy forward a bit, letting go of his wrist.

"Ed, come on. Tell me what's up..."

 _"You bastard!"_ Ed said, suddenly shoving Roy backward slightly. "You know exactly what you did; you knew exactly what you were doing! You did this on _purpose_!"

A small smirk appeared on Roy's face. "I don't know what you're talking about, Fullmetal," he said slyly.

"Look around, Mustang! _Couples_! This is a 'couples only' party! That's what it is, isn't it?!"

"Yes, that's what is," Roy said calmly.

Ed put his hands to his head. His eyes were glassy, as if he were about to cry. He let out a ragged breath. "I don't... I don't see a _single person_ out there who doesn't have someone of the opposite gender _hanging_ on their arm!"

"And it's... it's wrong that I brought you here..." Roy guessed, his smile disappearing. He wasn't expecting Ed to have this sort of reaction.

" _Yes!_ " Ed said loudly. "Yes, it sure as hell was!"

"You..." Roy's face went as white as a sheet. He blinked. "You... you don't have the same preferences that I do," he mused. He anxiously ran a hand over his raven hair. "I never asked; Ed, I apologize... I apologize for assuming that you-"

"I'm about as straight as Rainbow Road, Mustang!" Ed snapped, putting a foot down. "I'm as straight as a circle! That isn't the problem here! It's just... you just can't _do_ this to someone! What'll other people think when they see that you've brought another guy as a date to a couples party?! Okay, I'm flattered! I admit it! But people aren't that tolerant and I know that from _damn_ _experience_!" Ed cried, his voice breaking.

A silence fell upon them.

"What happened?" Roy finally asked with genuine concern. "Did... did someone attack you?"

"It doesn't matter now- it was a long time ago!"

"Whatever it is... I'll make sure it doesn't happen again, Ed. We'll have a good time, I promise."

"You know what?!" Ed shouted, "Screw you!" he said, turning in his heels. With fists balled, he marched back down to the sandy beach, headed in the opposite direction of the glowing house and party-goers.

"Ed?" Roy called. "Hey, Ed, _come on_! Where do you think you're even going?!"

"Leave me alone, Colonel Bastard!" Ed sung, not turning around.

Weaving his fingers together, Roy put his hands to the back of his head. Closing his eyes and letting out a deep breath, he let Ed go.

A minute later, he glanced over at Ed who was still walking away, and then put his hands into his pant pockets and turned around, forcing himself to walk in the opposite direction.

"Crap..." he muttered. He blinked, nodded his head slightly, and then let out another loud sigh. "He'll be back though. He'll be back..."

Roy went to the house and talked to Havoc for a bit. Afterward, he went around asking for the whereabouts of a short, angry blond wearing gloves. He was eventually directed to one of the bedrooms upstairs.

Quietly, he walked up the stairwell, squeezing past a couple that moaned obnoxiously while making out with one another on the landing. He went to the room at the end of the hall, and cautiously opened the door. The light was on and a few empty cups littered the polished wooden floor. Otherwise, the room was empty.

Ed was sitting in a high-backed armchair in the corner of the room, and he was holding a red plastic cup in one hand. Upon noticing that the blond's cheeks were were slightly flushed, Roy narrowed his eyes with suspicion.

"You... you didn't go and get yourself drunk... did you?" he asked.

"Naw, not yet," Ed replied. "I had just a couple sips. But I'm working toward it. Someone spiked the punch."

"Of course someone spiked the punch. You know better than that; it's practically expected to slip something in- that's what punch is for! Everybody contributes something."

"What did you bring?" Ed questioned.

"A bit of Jäger. Tastes like black licorice," he added.

"Yeah, well... I knew that someone spiked the punch," Ed said almost somberly, setting his cup down on the side table, "and that's why I drank it. And I'm definitely tasting black licorice..."

With neither of them speaking, the music from outside spilled through the window and into the room again. Ed dragged his hands over his face. 

"Aw bloody hell..." he groaned, "Somebody needs to change the CD. They've played that same song by The Neighborhood at least fifteen times in a row- it's getting on my nerves."

Ed watched as Roy walked over to the far wall, and he looked up at the ceiling for just a moment as he dimmed the lights way down low.

"Mustang... what in the world are you doing?" Ed asked with a confused look on his face.

One corner of Roy's mouth turned upward a bit. "If it's getting sort of boring..." he hummed in a soft, smooth voice, "...well, how about we change that?"

Roy walked back over to where Ed was sitting and stopped directly in front of him. He pressed his lips together thoughtfully before speaking.

"This may or may not go well..." Roy said hesitantly. "I don't usually do this, so no matter what..." Roy put a finger to Ed's lips. Ed froze and he felt his heart skip a beat. "No matter what...  _don't_ _laugh_ , alright?" Roy said with a serious face. He took his finger away. "If you do, it'll ruin the mood."

Ed frowned slightly and his brow furrowed. "You're... You're trying to set 'a mood'..." he parroted.

"Yes. I am. So quiet. Ya got that?"

Edward awkwardly looked off to the side. "Sure... but I still don't understand what in the world you're doing..."

Roy took the infamous Jäger-spiked cup of punch off of the side table and took a gulp of it before he handed it over to Ed. "Here," he said quickly. "Have some more."

"Are you trying to get me drunk?" Ed asked.

Roy nodded his head to the side. "Ever so slightly intoxicated," he corrected. "I'm going to put on a little show. All you need to do is sit down and relax."

Ed hesitantly took the cup and took a large swig of the fiery liquid. As he narrowed his eyes, he felt his face warm. "Are you trying to do something kinky?"

"No... not really," Roy replied, his dark eyes shifting to the side.

One corner of Ed's mouth turned upward just a bit. "Yeah, well that doesn't make me suspicious at all..." he said sarcastically, reaching up a hand and subconsciously tucking the end of one blond bang behind an ear. The mass of hair almost immediately fell back into his face again.

Roy turned on his heels and headed toward the shadowy walk-in closet at the opposite side of the room. Ed began to stand up out of his chair just as Roy was about to disappear into the empty closet.

"Roy... where do you think you're going?"

Roy pointed a finger at him warningly. "Sit down and don't move. Is it really that hard to follow orders, Fullmetal?"

Ed didn't answer. He only sat back down his seat and shuffled around a bit, nervously. Roy noticed this and he shot Ed a smile that practically made him melt.

"You're going to like it," Roy said softly with a wink and a twinkle in his eye. "Trust me."

"Alright.." Ed said breathlessly. He could feel his cheeks turning redder than they already were.

Roy ducked into the closet and disappeared. In the dark, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He shrugged his shoulders and tilted his head this way and that, loosening up before he stooped down and took off his shoes and socks, putting them against the back wall of the empty closet to be collected later.

Meanwhile, as Edward sat alone in his chair, the same music began to play outside, wafting through the open window. Ed felt... he felt butterflies in his stomach. Nervousness, yet anticipation. It was the same music, but different somehow. The opening of the song was soft and reverberating, the same as before... but it was louder. And clearer too.

This time around... it seemed to have transformed into the very oxygen that he breathed.

As the atmosphere broke and the bass guitar joined into the melody, Roy suddenly strode into the doorway of the closet with his shoulders back , his head raised high, and so much confidence, you could practically taste it in the air as he mouthed the words to the song.

 **I think I talk too much!**  
**Ah!**  
**I need to listen baby!**

Stopping in the doorway with his chest facing the door frame, Roy balled up a fist and threw one toned arm up over his head as he began to slowly gyrate his hips in tune, throwing Ed a smirk as he then carded his fingers through his raven hair.

_**I need to listen, baby!**  
**I need to listen** **good** **!** _

Upon that last word, a smile of pleasure spread across Roy's face.

_**I think I try too hard!**  
**How I look, what I do, what I'm sayin'** _

Roy's eyes lowered and he popped his hip slightly to the side as he ran the tips of his fingers down the sides of his body before he threw his head back slightly.

**_A-Ahhh_ **

Ed's face paled slightly finally understanding what was going on. "Oh my fucking god, Mustang, what are you-"

Ed slapped a hand over his mouth as Roy moved to the center of the dark room, taking center stage with a smile dancing on his ever so slightly parted lips as he began his striptease.

_**I spend too much time explainin'... myself**  
**I hope there's some time to change it** _

Turning so that the plain of his back faced Edward, Roy slowly ran a pink tongue over his lips, and with eyes twinkling beneath long, dark lashes, he looked over his shoulder as he slowly rolled his shoulders back in circles in tune with the music, letting his long maroon cardigan slip off his broad shoulders.

_**I can taste it, my heart's breakin', please don't say...**  
**That you know, when you know...** _

He let the sleeves slowly slide down his arms and soon enough, the sweater dripped down onto the polished floor and pooled at his feet.

_**I can't take it, I'm inpatient, tell me baby,**  
**Now I know... you should go...** _

He took a turn around the room, keeping his eyes on Ed as he lifted his chin, and using the pads of his fingers on both hands, he stroked his pale neck before his fingers slowly and methodically began to work at the buttons of his shirt.

**_I know I'll fall in love with you, baby_ **

He only undid the top four, revealing only a sliver of skin before he stopped in front of Ed, standing with his feet slightly apart, and he slowly rolled his body, bowing his head forward and rolling it back as if he were looking up toward the ceiling before he arched it back again, following the same movement with his shoulders, and rolling through his chest and down to his hips.

_**And that's not what I wanna do**  
**I hope... you won't ever lie to me** _

He rocked his hips smoothly from side to side and turned slightly, lowering his eyes and beckoning Ed to follow them as he used both of his hands to tug up the hem of shirt in fluid motions, teasingly revealing his hips and toned stomach just a moment at a time before covering it again with the crisp white fabric.

**_And if you do, I know I won't be your cry baby_ **

Roy lifted his hands, he pushed his shoulders back using one hand after the other before he came forward and planted himself a foot or two in front of Ed, and still swaying his hips, he forced Ed to crane his neck as continued to unbutton his shirt. When he was done, he quickly snapped the two loose sides of the shirt forward with his hands.

 **I think I worry a lot**  
**I need to take it easy**  
**I got this anxious feeling**

Roy put his hands on Edward's wrists, pinning them down onto the arms of the chair, keeping him still as he slowly rolled his pelvis forward and he leaned in closer, gradually decreasing the space between them. As the air became thinner, Ed took sudden interest in the ceiling and eyelids fluttered as he felt the moisture and the heat of warm lips ghosting up the length of his neck and he felt hot breath as Roy scooped his head upward and soundlessly spoke words into his ear, sending a tingling sensation shooting down his lower back.

**_But it goes away for a minute when I'm with you breathing!_ **

Roy quickly pushed up off of the arms of the seat, and pulled away again, making a small turn and lifting his arms over his head, making Ed gawk as he revealed his abs kissed with perspiration. Looking down at his hips as he cocked them to the left, repeating the motion as he pivoted on one foot in tune with the words of the song.

 **I can taste it, my heart's breakin', please don't say**  
**That you know, when you know**  
**I can't take it, I'm inpatient, tell me baby**  
**Now I know, you should go**

Roy turned to face Ed and smirked as in one fluid motion he reached down and pulled down the zipper of his pants. Again, he slowly swayed his hips from side to side, closing his eyes and parting his lips as he raised his head and ran his hands over his hair, down his neck, over the plain of his bare chest, across his hips, and then down in a V shape, leading to his inner thighs before moving back up again.

 **I know... I'll fall in love with you, baby**  
**And that's not what I wanna do!**  
**I hope you won't ever lie to me**  
**And if you do, I know I won't be your cry baby!**

Ed's breath caught in his throat as Roy came forward again, licking his lips and placing his hands on the armrests, and rolling himself forward, his sleepy eyes fell upon Ed's lips. Slowly, he came closer, and lifting a hand, he cupped one of Ed's cheeks.

_**The sun's coming out but I'm feeling colder...**  
**I can't wait 'til the drought is over...** _

Ed tilted his head slightly to the side and closed his eyes as he felt the heat of Roy's lips as they ghosted over his. Then, Ed suddenly jumped a bit when he felt the pad of a finger playfully tap the tip of his nose.

 **I know I'll fall in love with you, baby**  
**And that's just what I'll do!**

Ed almost whined when he opened his eyes just in time to see Roy push away and turn his back, casting a mischievous smile over his left shoulder.

_**I hope you won't ever lie to me**  
**And if you do, I know I won't be your cry baby** _

It was then that he finally shed his shirt, slowly rocking his hips and shoulders once more and letting it fall down at the back, before his took his arms out and turned, only letting Ed get a glimpse of his V shaped figure and slender torso from the back before he turned to face front.

_**I know I'll fall in love with you, baby**  
**And that's not what I wanna do** _

Rushing forward toward Ed, with his shirt in hand, he stopped in front of him and lassoed it over his head, looping it around his neck and using it to pull him slightly toward him.

_**I hope you won't ever lie to me**  
**And if you do, I know I won't be your cry baby** _

Letting go of one end of the twisted shirt, he slid a thumb beneath Edward's chin and lifted it slightly, and looking searchingly into Edward's eyes, his lips closed and his body was still for the first time.

Neither of them seemed to breathe as the song came to an end.

 **Cry baby, cry baby**  
**I need to cry, baby**  
**Cry baby, cry baby**  
**You need to cry, baby**  
**Cry baby, cry baby**  
**We need to cry...**  
**And if we do, I know that would be alright.**

Silence was exchanged between the two of them. Roy's eyes softened and he tilted his head to the side, smiling softly.

"Weren't expecting that, we're you, Fullmetal?" he said quietly.

Silence.

Roy took his thumb away from Edward's chin and his smile fell. "Was that good?" he questioned expectantly. 

Ed still found himself unable to speak.

"Was that good, or do I need to try harder?"

Edward put a hand back over his mouth and quickly bowed his head so his face was covered by his bangs. His shoulders hitched slightly upward a couple of times.

Roy's brow knitted with worry when a quiet squeak came from Edward's throat. "Fullmetal, are you alright?"

Roy was surprised when Edward suddenly doubled over at his waist, bursting out in laughter. " _PHHHHT_!" And then, pounding his thigh with one fist and shaking his head, he rocked upright again, laughing so hard that tears were streaming from his eyes. "That was the most _hilarious_ _thing_ I've ever seen in my life!" Ed chocked in-between his fit of laughter. "Oh my gosh, I'm crying!"

"I told you not to laugh!" Roy cried loudly.

"I-I'm s-sorry-" Edward snorted and then struggled to catch his breath. "Oh god...oh...oh, I can't remember the-the last time I laughed so hard! Oh god...oh my..M-Mustang, that was _hilarious_ ; I love you!"

Edward suddenly paused, making the sort of face you make when you accidentally swallow something without chewing. His face turned scarlet.

"Did...did you just say what I think you said, Fullmetal?"

Ed sat back in his seat. "Yes, I...I believe I did," he whispered.

"And you're...you're _admitting_ to it!" Roy cried in surprised voice.

"Well, sure I am," Ed said, wiping tears away from his cheeks with the back of his arm. "I mean, why wouldn't I?" Edward flicked his golden eyes back up to Roy's face. "It's true after all, and there's nothing shameful in telling the truth. There can only be shame in the truth itself."

"And is there shame in this truth?" Roy asked softly.

"No." Ed shook his head. "Never."

"Well if there isn't any shame in it, say it again," Roy commanded in a soft voice.

Silence fell upon them. Edward blinked.

"I... I love you, Roy Mustang."

Roy's mouth fell ever so slightly open. And with a slow blink of his onyx eyes, he smiled softly, which at the moment, Ed would interpret as joy. Or satisfaction. Or something else. No matter what it was, as smart as he was, he would pinpoint it as all things other than what it really was.  

Disbelief. And despair, because of the fact... because of the fact that it had happened yet again. 

"Is that so..." Roy cooed playfully. "You really love me?"

"Yes," Ed replied calmly. "I really love you."

 

 


	8. Karma

Roy and Ed lay silently in the dark, facing one another as they lay side by side beneath the covers of the bed. With a touch as light as a feather, Edward stroked the bare skin on the right side of Roy's body, just above his hips. The pads of his fingers traversed the plain of small, and slightly puckered circular cigarette burns that his father had left on him years ago. 

At first Ed was going to ask. But then he realized that some thing are better left unsaid, and he accepted the small markings as a part of Roy, as his automail was a part of himself. Something from the past that was not exactly his... yet still there for people to see. And so with that, concern faded from his memory. 

"I've talked to close friends about it," Ed hummed, drawing his fingers away from Roy's skin and drawing a hand over his raven hair. "Talking about the possibility of you and me..."

"Aw, that's cute!" Roy chirped with a smirk.

Ed playfully nudged Roy's arm with his elbow. "Oh, shut up!" he whispered loudly.

Roy chuckled a bit before collecting himself and telling Ed to continue.

"Well, Al, Winry, all the others... they all say the same thing," Ed explained, rolling onto his back. "They don't see it. They don't think it would work out."

"But they're wrong," Roy said, shifting and slipping a hand beneath his own cheek. "I think you could say... you could say we're quite a pair, aren't we?"

"Yeah," Ed said softly, facing Roy once more. "I suppose we are."

Roy blinked and his dark eyes then searched Edward's. "Well... how about we stay this way? As a pair. Would you like that?"

A small smile spread across Ed's face. 

"Yes," he replied. "I would like that very much."

As he walked alongside the road with his hands in his pant pockets on a sunny Sunday afternoon, a soft smile across Edward's face as he remembered those words which were exchanged almost two months previously.

Parked alongside the road, Edward saw a car that he recognized- the blue Mustang Convertible. Walking toward it, he narrowed his eyes, suddenly noticing something mustard in color almost glowing against the dark paint on the vehicle's side. Curious and slightly concerned, picked up his pace, and a few seconds later, he finally stopped at the side of the car. 

He went through a number of different emotions in a short span of time. First there was shock. Then his heart twisted with sympathy. Finally, as he balled his fists at his sides, he felt rage, boiling his blood and sending him sprinting back to his dormitory, leaving the graffitied and egged car behind. About ten minutes later, he swung open the door to the room that he and Mustang shared. Roy sat at his desk with his back turned, holding something up to the side of his face.

"Roy!" Ed shouted sharply, "Did you see what they did to-"

Roy turned around to face him, the sight bringing Ed to pause, his breath caught in his throat.

Roy had been nursing his face with an ice pack. The skin around his left eye was stained a dark black and blue, and his eye had been completely swollen shut. His lower lip was bloody and split, and his right cheek was marred by a long and painful scratch which ran from his ear to about an inch above the corner of his lip.

Edward let out a ragged breath. "What... what happened? Who did this to you?"

When Roy said nothing, Edward bared his teeth with anger. "Tell me who did this to you, dammit!" he growled.

Roy let out a soft breath and brought the ice pack back up to his black eye. "It's alright," he said softly. "It's alright- I probably deserve it."

Ed's golden eyes widened. "What the _fuck_..." he breathed. " _What the actual fuck_ , Mustang?! You were _assaulted!_ You don't deserve this, no one does! You need to report this to the police or somethin'!"

"It was a kid I knew from high school named Solf. Solf J. Kimblee. He's always had it out for me. It was... it was just a stupid little thing..."

"Doesn't matter if it's stupid; you need to _do_ something about it!" Edward shouted before pointing a finger at the open window. "Did you see what he did to your car?! Did you _fucking_ see the _anti-gay slur_ that  _fucking_ _homophobic asshole_ spray painted on your car?!"

"Well it isn't like it's the first time it's happened to somebody, Fullmetal," Roy said calmly, standing up from his chair and picking his keys up off of the desk. "If you get this upset every time it happens, you'll die of a heart attack before you're thirty."

Edward looked like he was about to cry. "Why the hell aren't you angry, Roy?!" he asked, stomping down a foot.

Roy walked across the room past Ed and opened the door. "Like I said, because I deserve it," he said over his shoulder. And with that, Roy went out the door, closing it softy behind him and leaving Edward standing alone in the center of the room. 

 Roy went out to get some supplies to clean his car and came back half an hour later, getting to work and attacking the windows and doors with a soapy sponge until his arms and shoulders began to ache. When he went down to wet his sponge again in the bucket, he noticed a blonde in a wheelchair rolling down the street toward him. Roy squeezed out some of the water and continued to scrub as Havoc stopped nearby.

"How's therapy going?" Roy asked as he soaped up the windows. "Those broken legs healin'?"

"Yep!" Havoc chipped with a smile. "I'll be up on crutches in a few weeks! Hey, how about we all go out to that new club downtown to celebrate?"

"Yeah. Sure," Roy replied dismissively. He continued to scrub.

A silence fell upon the two of them. 

Havoc sighed and looked the car up and down. "Kimblee again?" he guessed.

Roy stopped scrubbing and turned around. "Yeah," he said, sighing softly.

"But that's not what's bothering you... is it, Chief?"

Roy stooped down and set the sponge into the soapy water contained inside the bucket. He stood up and crossed his arms as he leaned against the side of the car, not minding the fact that his clothes were getting wet. Then, tilting his head to the side, he studied Havoc as if Havoc himself were the one who held the answer. 

"I..." Roy closed his mouth for a moment, collecting his thoughts before he spoke again. "I feel guilty," he admitted. "And I know that... well, guilty is the way it's supposed to be."

"And what're you feeling guilty about?" Havoc asked.

"Tell me. Can... can someone be in love... with two people at the same time?"

"You're... you're not _cheating_ on Hughes, are you? Not with that _kid_ you're rooming with..."

"I don't like it when it's said aloud like that, but yeah. I am."

"For how long?!"

"Well, Maes and I have been in a relationship for the past year. For Ed and I, it's been two months. But if you fall in love with the second, does that mean that you weren't actually in love with the first? Can you only give your love to one person?"

Both young men turned their head as they heard Ed call out to them. Ed waved a hand and walked toward them with a dish towel and a large bottle of acetone in hand.

"Does Ed know?" Havoc whispered.

"No," Roy replied. "Neither of them know."

"Well, I'll leave you with this. Love is _not_ a finite source," Havoc whispered. "Without a doubt, yes, you can love two people at the same time. But in the end... you're gonna hurt somebody. And when you do, it'll be nothing less than a criminal offense."

 


	9. Retribution

Maes was up on his hands and knees, bare back slick with sweat catching the pale white light that came from the nearby bedroom window. The mattress shifted slightly as he pressed a hand down hard against the wrist of the man who was laying below him, so that it was pinned near the side of his head. With one of Maes' bare knees shoved into the space between Roy's naked legs, Roy had flung an arm over his eyes, as if he didn't want Maes to see his face.

Or perhaps it was the other way around.

Either way, against the crisp white sheets on Maes' bed, Roy's body shook like a leaf, attached to a branch and left trembling in the wind. When Maes' eyes looked down at Roy's lips, his brow knitted with feigned sympathy. He gently touched the tender, swollen skin with one finger.

"Aw, Roy... your lip..."

Roy let out a sharp, but quiet, breath as Maes touched the cut skin on the right corner of his lower lip.

"Poor thing..." Maes said down to it, dabbing the spot gently with the pad of a finger. "I was a little too rough, wasn't I?"

Looking at the arm that covered Roy's eyes, Maes frowned. He reached up a hand and pulled the arm away so that the onyx colored eyes could stare back at him.

Roy's face was paler than usual. He was looking upward, but it was as if he were looking through Maes' face and he was gazing up at the cream colored ceiling, trying to make identifiable shapes out of the peeling paint that could be found all over the tiny apartment.

"You know I'm a horrible person... right?" Maes asked, running the tips of his fingers over Roy's left cheek.

"N-N-No..." Roy stuttered as a shiver slowly crawled its way down his spine.

With a small smile, Maes shook his head. "I really am. You just take what I deal out because..." He paused and turned his head to the side, pretending to think to himself. "Oh, what's the word?" A couple of seconds passed. His hazel eyes softened as he looked back down at Roy. "Well... because you're a bit of a masochist, darling."

Silence fell upon the two of them, and Roy's entire body tensed upon hearing the words that finally came out of Maes' mouth.

"I'm not Edward Elric," Maes suddenly said down to him.

Roy's blood ran cold.

"I'm not stupid; I know what you've been up to. I've known for quite a while actually. And honestly... I don't care that you had a bit of a fling. It doesn't change anything between us. You can do whatever you want as long as at the end of the day... you're mine for the keeping."

Roy felt like he was going to be sick. He _was_ sick...

" _It's not right to talk about him like that_ ", he thought to himself. " _Ed's more than that to me. Saying that he's just a fling would be belittling both him and the feelings that I have for him_."

Roy let out a soft, ragged breath. "Y-You... you fuck me senseless how many times over, and _then... after all that_...you finally decide to tell me this?"

Maes cocked his head to the side and slowly blinked. "Consider it retribution," he said. He brought his body down lower and Roy closed his eyes as he heard Maes whisper heatedly into his ear. _"Life is rough when you sleep around. Isn't it?"_

Roy blinked. He now sat on a window seat and stared out the large window of the small, but comfortable room, tucked away on the second floor of the old music building. Overlooking the grassy quad, the room contained a few chairs and a piano which Maes was currently playing.

Maes's agile fingers danced fluidly over the keys, but suddenly, the music stopped. Maes took the pencil out from behind his ear and scribbled notes onto his sheet music. He put the pen back and started from the beginning again. He went on like this for about ten to fifteen minutes- adding things, erasing them, and then starting the song all over again, incorporating the newly added notes.

_"And honestly, I don't care that you had a bit of a fling. As long as at the end of the day you're mine for the keeping."_

Roy let out a long, ragged sigh before closing his eyes.

"Maes, stop," he said in a voice barely above a whisper.

 _"Can... can someone be in love... with two people at the same time?_ _If you fall in love with the second, does that mean that you weren't actually in love with the first?"_

Roy touched his left wrist with his right hand and winced as his fingers made contact with the bruises that had been left there and climbed up his arm like a strangler vine. He remembered watching Maes tilt his head to the side and he remembered the shadow of a smile that dance upon his lips.

_"Consider it retribution."_

Maes had been pushing his buttons the night before. That led to shouting and arguing and before Roy knew it, stars exploded across hiss vision. A backhand across the jaw sent him crashing down upon Maes' bed, and soon enough, Maes was pinning him down. That was the start of it all. A similar violent scene had played out many times before. Many nights before.

" _If you fall in love with the second, does that mean that you weren't actually in love with the first?"_

Was the first love even love in the first place?

Roy suddenly shot up out of his seat with his hands closed into tight fists, "I said _stop_ , Maes!" he cried out.

A single crisp note from the piano reverberated through the air before it finally disappeared, plunging the room into silence.

"What is it, Roy?" Maes asked with concern.

Shaking his head, Roy walked to the door. "I'm sorry," he said, "I need to go."

"Roy, come back here," Maes commanded in a calm, cool voice.

Roy ignored him and rushed through the door, not bothering to close it behind him. Stuffing his hands into his jacket pockets, he flew down the hall and down the stairwell, pausing just as he stepped onto the path that cut through the academic quad. In the distance, he heard the sound of police and ambulance sirens, their screaming drawing closer and closer, approaching with aggressive speed.

Narrowing his eyes, Roy walked across the grassy lawn to where a large crowd of students were standing, just outside of the mathematical sciences building. They weren't in between classes yet, so seeing them there and hearing the ambulance squeal to a stop alongside the road behind the building told Roy that something was definitely wrong.

Roy approached a tall man standing along the outer edge of the mass of students with an undercut and a shock of gray hair at the top of his head. His back was turned and he spun around when Roy put a hand on his shoulder.

"Oh! Hello, Mustang," Falman said courteously.

"What happened?" Roy asked.

"Some kid got up in the middle of calculus lecture and was about to leave. And then he just..."

Falman's friend, Breda, stepped in and interrupted, finishing the sentence for him. "He just collapsed. Had a seizure right there and then on the aisle."

Roy's eyes widened with surprise. "A seizure?" he repeated.

"Yep! Professor Curtis was freaking out. Everyone was; it was scary, man. Nina just ran off to try and get a hold of his younger brother... Albert?" Breda put a finger to his chin and made a face. "No that's not it. Was it Alphonse? Yeah, that's right. Alphonse."

Roy took off without saying another word to the others. He quickly pushed his way though the crowd of students and made his way to the front just in time to see a team of three of paramedics running a gurney out the front door. Against another paramedic's protests, Roy rushed toward where Edward lay and ran alongside as the team made their way around the building with the gurney.

Roy's heart twisted with worry when his eyes fell upon Ed.

Edward's face was deathly pale and his bangs stuck to the sweaty sheen that covered his forehead. His eyes above the clear oxygen mask that covered his mouth and nose were barely open, but were visibly glassy and vacant.

"Ed! ?Hey, come on! Hang on, Ed!" Roy said encouragingly as he jogged along.

One of the paramedics stepped in front of Roy, stopping him in his tracks. Roy looked over the woman's shoulder at the gurney that was now being loaded into the back of the ambulance.

"I'm his roommate," Roy explained quickly. " He-"

"Well we need you to give him some space, alright, honey?" the woman said calmly, holding out the palms of her gloved hands. "He's going to be perfectly fine; we're taking him to the hospital."

She turned around, but stopped when Roy called out to her.

"Wait! He mentioned once that he has a bad reaction to penicillin!" Roy informed her. "And he's going to claim that he's lactose intolerant, but that isn't true- it's essential for maintaining his constitution, so no matter what he says, _don't_ listen to him!"

The paramedic smiled gratefully.

"I need to go now, alright?" she said, walking backwards, making sure that Roy stayed where he was. "Everything will be fine."

Roy looked worriedly at the paramedics who crowded around the gurney.

"Please be alright..." he whispered.


	10. The Penny Drops

Edward and his younger brother were gone for two weeks and Roy hadn't heard a single word from either one of them. Then, one afternoon, Roy opened the door to his room, and there Ed was. He was sitting in a chair with his feet up on the desk, playing Angry Birds on his crappy Motorola that he misplaced almost every other day.

He looked up at Roy and he smiled like nothing was wrong at all. It... it was like magic. Yes, that's what it was. A sleight of hand. 

But Roy knew the secret hiding behind the trick.

Ed slept more, and after waking up, he looked more tired than he did before he went to sleep in the first place. His coughing fits sounded dry and harsh. He had one the other morning, and he was sick in bed for the remainder of the day. And finally, Ed was noticeably thinner than before.

Roy had caught sight of his diminished frame the other day when Ed was changing into a different shirt before bed. The day he had come back, Roy had noticed how his clothes hung off of him differently, but it was another thing to see the shadow of someone's ribs beneath pale, blue-veined skin. Seeing that scared Roy. But Ed didn't say anything about his failing health, and so Roy didn't ask. 

He knew Ed. Ed was private. Ed was tough. And if he asked Ed, he knew that he wouldn't get an answer.

" _Dammit!_ " Roy heard someone cry out suddenly. Their pained voice broke when they shouted again. "God _fucking..._ dammit!"

Maes had invited Roy to hear he and Gracia perform their instruments in the music room. As Roy was passing by the communal bathroom, the coupling of profanities grabbed his attention and led him to open the door. He stepped inside the bathroom and found none other than Alphonse Elric, who turned away from the sink, bared his teeth, clenched a fist, and made an angry, sweeping punch to the wall opposite. 

Afterward, the blond hissed with pain, and with tears in his honey colored eyes, he held his bruised hand to his chest.

Roy didn't know Alphonse all that well. All he really knew was that he was amiable and polite, and sometimes broke the rules by sneaking cats into the "no pets allowed" dormitory. Overall he seemed to be a good enough person who wasn't easily angered, and yet there he was, cursing, punching a wall, and now telling it to go screw itself in the ass, which of course is impossible seeing as how cement brick walls don't have asses to screw.

Cradling his now bloody knuckles in his opposite palm, Alphonse went back to the sink, and putting his hands down against the counter, he leaned forward and bowed his head over the basin. He let out a long, shaky breath which caused his entire body to tremble.

Roy wasn't sure if it was right to leave Alphonse alone or ask him whatever was the matter. He eventually decided upon the later.

"Hey... Alphonse? Is everything alright?" Roy asked cautiously. "Do you want me to go get your brother?"

Alphonse didn't move a muscle. Neither did he speak a single word.

"Did something happen with you and your girlfriend maybe? Her name's May, right? Did you two get into a fight or something?"

Alphonse sniffled and cleared his throat. "No... I'm fine," he whispered. "I'm fine, Roy, don't worry about it. Just... I just want to be left alone," Al said with a shake of his head.

"Are you sure?"

Alphonse closed his eyes and hung his head lower as if he didn't want his face to be seen. And with that, he said something that caught Roy off guard.

"Go screw yourself..." Al whispered coolly.

Roy blinked his eyes with surprise, and deciding that Alphonse really did need some space, he silently made his was back to the door. But just before he left the room, he heard a voice call out to him softly.

"Hey, Roy?"

Roy turned his head.

Al was still bent over the sink. "I apologize..." he whispered shakily. "I'm not angry at you; I shouldn't have said that. You see, I'm... I'm just dealing with a lot of things. I'll... I'll make it up to you later," he added.

"Alright..." Roy said softly. He looked at Alphonse worriedly as he silently went out and closed the door again. Looking at the closed door, he tucked his hands into his pockets and let out a thoughtful sigh, thinking over what had happened as he continued down the hall.

Eventually, he came upon a partly open door beside which was a sign that read, "University Residences Music Room A3." 

Roy stepped inside and found Maes standing alone with his arms crossed in front of his chest as he leaned against the side of the piano. He didn't look over as Roy entered; he only continued to stare down at his polished dress shoes. But there was something about it. 

Something off-putting about the atmosphere, so much so that Roy could practically taste it in the air. But still, he closed the door when Maes told him to in a cool and commanding voice. It scared Roy... that voice... that tone. The sort of tone your dad uses when he calls you into a room, and he already has his belt off and doubled up in his hand, and you're not quite sure what it is exactly that you've done wrong. 

There. 

Roy had admitted it. Maes scared him. 

After having pulled the door closed, Roy walked across the room and leaned against the wall opposite, about a yard away from Maes. The room was more cluttered than usual, and a yard was about as far away as you could get without standing in the way of the door.

Roy's brow furrowed with confusion. "Is Gracia not coming or..."

Maes shook his head. "God, Roy you're such an idiot..." he muttered under his breath.

Roy let out a sharp yelp as Maes suddenly stepped forward and violently grabbed the collar of his shirt in his firm grip, and tugged Roy toward him so that their hips crashed together. Letting out a shallow, shaky breath, Maes took one hand away from Roy's collar and reached around Roy's head, weaving his fingers through his raven hair. With onyx eyes wide with fear, Roy tried to pull away, and Maes took hold of the fabric of his collar again, jerking him closer. When Maes spoke, Roy could feel his hot breath blowing against his face as panic made his head spin.

"I told him to come at four o'clock sharp," Maes growled in a low voice, "He's running five minutes late."

Roy's heart skipped a beat when he heard the door squeal as it was slowly swung open, and he heard the familiar sound of Edward's voice.

"Hey Hughes, funny story actually; when I-"

Roy's quiet inhalation of air was interrupted when Maes abruptly tugged him forward, causing their lips collide. After the electrifying initial shock, Roy found his eyelids fluttering closed and his body relaxing into sweet surrender as the kiss deepened with violent passion and Maes moved his hands to either side of his face, cupping his cheeks and then knitting his fingers through his hair as he gently drew his tongue over the top of Roy's lower lip.

The handle of Edward's violin case slid from his fingers and the case fell to his feet with a loud thud.

Maes didn't wait for a physical sign from Roy to grant him access before he pushed his tongue between the seam of his lips and he began to explore the warmth of Roy's mouth. Over the sound of the couples' hushed, but heavy, breaths, the sound of Edward's footfall beating hard upon the linoleum was heard outside, growing softer and softer as he disappeared down the hall.

Suddenly, Maes paused and slowly drew his lips away, a thin string of saliva still connecting he and Roy together. He gently untangled his fingers from Roy's hair, and letting out a long, shaky breath, he let one hand fall to his side and he put the other to Roy's cheek as he silently and unblinkingly searched Roy's eyes.

"You... set this up," Roy whispered with disbelief.

Maes looked downward and diverted his gaze. His hazel eyes flicked upward again, and knitting his brow, he shook his head.

"I was losing you," he explained in a soft voice. "Do you know how scary that is? Slowly losing someone you love; having them slowly slip farther and farther away from you? I _had_ to do something. I had to do something, Roy; I'm desperate."

Roy stood there in silence for what seemed like an eternity before he bared his teeth angrily, shoved Maes away, and stormed away toward the door.

Edward slammed the door of the telephone booth behind him as he stepped inside. He carded his fingers through his hair in one sweeping motion as he turned and leaned his back against one of the cool plexi-glass walls. Sliding down slightly, he let out a tired breath and closed his eyes,  not minding the crisp December air that seeped through the window and eased its way through his clothes.

Havoc had told him everything he needed to know.

Not wanting to bump into Roy, never mind see Roy ever again, Ed decided that the best escape for him was to go for a walk.

Ed didn't really know what he was feeling now, or if the walk had helped clear his thoughts. But if he had to put a label to that feeling...

Numb maybe? That seems like the logical next step after having your heart torn in two.

But then there was that dark storm cloud too- that horrible fact that had been looming over him for the past week. It was this fact that... if possible, made the events that occurred a few hours earlier seem... well... utterly insignificant.

Edward reached for the phone and dialed a number. He spoke to the operator and then he twisted the telephone cord around one finger, listening as the phone ran once and then twice before the inhabitant of the home picked it up.

It was the voice he wanted to hear.

"Hello, this is Rockbell Automail!" Winry recited cheerily, "How may I help you this evening?"

A small smile spread across Ed's face. "Hey, Winry."

"Ed, well isn't this a surprise! You need to call more; you really do! Wait a minute... Did you break your automail again?!"she asked accusingly.

In any other situation, Ed would have come up with some kind of retort, but today wasn't the day.

"No... no, that's not it..." he said softly.

"Thank goodness! Well, I suppose it's safe to assume you got back to school fine, but are you feeling any better?"

Edward's body stiffened. Silence was heard on Edward's end of the line.

"I'll take that as a no," Winry said somberly,"Well... are they putting you on more meds again?"

Winry heard Ed let out a shallow, shaky breath. "Four," he said softly.

"Excuse me?"

"Four months," he clarified. "And there's not a single thing that anyone can do about it. "

Winry's heart wrenched in her chest. "Ed, you're... you're not saying what I think you're-"

When he heard something wet patter against the floor at his feet, Edward closed his burning eyes and shook his head. He bit his trembling lower lip and then let it go as he let out a shaky breath, wiping the tears away from his eyes with the side of his hand.

He pressed the hand over his mouth.

"Ed?"

Edward spoke.

The telephone receiver slid out of Winry's hand and it was caught before it hit the floor, the chord becoming taut like a hangman's noose and the receiver dangling lifelessly in the air.


	11. Full Circle

**_I know it seems like ages ago... but do you remember that pin?_ _Remember that pin we put in before I decided that we_ _start the story the way all stories start? At the beginning?_**

_**Do you remember it now? It's alright with me if you don't.** _

**_I was just asking because it happens to be_ _here again. Well, it was always here, but we happen to have stumbled upon it once more. And when you arrived here, I was just about to take it out of the thought we left it in._**

_**When I eventually take it out, time will move on as it always does, and we'll begin our slow descent from the middle to what we call the end.** _

_**This is what you would call the beginning of the end.** _

_**Are you ready?** _

_**Well I'm sure not.** _ **_And_ _I don't think I'll ever be..._**

While talking to Ed about Roy and Hughes' relationship, Havoc suggested that Edward check out a nightclub downtown and drown his troubles there. Though Edward came alone two nights later, fate had it that he would bump into Havoc himself, who was celebrating having transitioned from his wheelchair into the occasional use of crutches.

With Havoc had come several others, including a certain raven-haired sophomore.

Havoc put his cigarette back in between his lips, and looking at Ed, he put his hands up defensively. "Look, I don't know where he is. And just because I'm here doesn't mean that he is too."

"You follow him like you're his fucking shadow," Ed said bitterly. "If you're here, then he's..."

Looking off into the distance, Ed paused. In the crowd of dancers on the dance floor, he spotted Roy wearing a white dress shirt with the top three or four buttons undone. Taking his drink, Ed stood up and walked over, pushing his way past people and not apologizing when he accidentally stepped on their feet.

"Oi! Mustang!" Ed shouted loudly, as he approached Roy.

Roy looked over, and the second he spotted the golden-eyed blond walking toward him, the color drained from his face. Ed stopped directly in front of him and looked up at him with a scowl on his face.

"Hold this for me please," Ed commanded, forcing his drink into Roy's hand. Some of the drink spilled over the edge of the cup and fell upon the toes of Roy's black polished shoes.

"Fullmetal, what-"

He was cut off when Ed quickly reached up a gloved hand and forcefully took hold of his chin. "Okay, now turn your head ever slightly to the side.  'Kay, that's good..." Ed said, taking his hand away.

A dark smile spread across Ed's face as a shadow fell over his eyes. Sweat rolled off of Roy's brow.

Looking down at the cup, Roy blinked, and a half a second later a loud crack was heard as Ed's automail fist flew and made contact with Roy's face, sending his head flying to the side and his body falling backward, colliding with a group of very drunk college students, bringing them all toppling down upon the floor, landing in a heap. The people who weren't caught in the collapse shouted and stepped back with surprise.

Wide eyed and breathing heavily, Roy scrambled up off of a woman with bleached hair and then put a hand to his now throbbing nose, from which a large amount of warm, crimson blood was flowing down. A trail of blood traveled down his wrist and ran down his shirt sleeve.

"Holy fuck, you broke the guy's nose!" someone in the crowd shouted.

Fuming, Ed bared his teeth. Breaking Roy's nose was nice, but he wasn't completely satisfied yet. He was hungry for more.

With fists clenched, Ed stormed forward, ready to strike Roy again, but he paused when a delicate hand wrapped around his wrist, grasping it firmly. He instantly wrenched his hand away.

"LET GO OF ME, RIZA! _FUCK YOU, ROY!_ A _ND FUCK THAT MANIPULATIVE SON OF A BITCH MAES TOO_!"

"Jean, help me out here!" Roy heard Riza shout in a panicked voice.

Ed tried to fight back as Havoc linked his arms under his, holding Ed back as he kicked his legs, struggling to break free. Edward bared his teeth and arched his neck, throwing his head back as he tried to wrestle his arms free.

" _AAHHGGH!!!_ LET ME GO!"

Roy stood frozen in place as, with tears forming at the corners of his eyes and threatening to fall, Ed used his fingernails to claw at the tangle of hands and arms which were now keeping him from pouncing upon him.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE I LET YOU PLAY ME LIKE A _FUCKING_ HARP!" Ed shouted, "I hate you! I _HATE YOU!!!_ "

Roy's lips parted, as if he were about to speak, and it was in that moment that Ed kicked his left foot upward, striking Roy square in the jaw and plunging him into darkness.

_I HATE YOU!!!_

The thought of Edward's cry now sent a shiver down Roy's spine.

Heavy raindrops drummed upon the windshield of Roy's car which hummed quietly as it sped down the dark and winding highway. The windshield wipers swung to and fro, making a steady, rhythmic sound which calmed Roy down ever so slightly, as it reminded him of a metronome set atop a piano.

Tick-swoosh, tick-swoosh, tick-swoosh, tick-swoosh, tick-swoosh...

As Roy expertly turned the steering wheel and rode down a long bend in the road, he began to quietly hum a familiar tune to himself which he used to play during his piano lessons.

Doing so helped him a bit, but the anxiousness weighing upon his shoulders was still there. Eventually, the rest of the musical composition faded from his memory, and he was left once again in the lonely, eerie silence of the interior of the car. Even with the headlights on, the road was barely visible. The back wheels of a passing black Honda Fit sent an arching spray of water colliding with one of the side windows. 

Trying to keep his thoughts to what was in front of him on the road, Roy tightened his grip on the steering wheel. Usually, he found comfort in the familiarity of its material and texture, but tonight, that wasn't the case. His thoughts only turned to the events of an hour ago.

How could they not?

When Roy came around after been knocked unconscious, two of the bouncers had thrown both he and Edward into the a dark and dreary alleyway with no protection from the spray of freezing rain that assaulted their heads and shoulders.

Edward stood a few feet in front of Roy who held the back of a hand under his swelling nose, trying to hold back the thick blood that still dripped down from it. Edward was doubled over slightly at the waist with his head down and his arms wrapped around his body for warmth. His long bangs were plastered over his face, concealing his countenance from Roy's sight.

After a long silence, Edward's body swayed slightly before he stumbled forward toward Roy. 

"My name is Edward Elric..." Ed whimpered in a soft voice. "Remember me?"

The boy was obviously worn out from his outburst and overall physical condition, and as he staggered toward Roy, Roy was afraid that he might fall over. Nevertheless, Edward weakly raised a closed first over his head, and almost in slow-motion, he brought it forward toward Roy's face.

With a cold and vacant expression, Roy silently took a small step back and caught Edward's thin wrist in his blood-covered hand without any effort at all.

"Remember?!" Ed sobbed. "I hate this crappy world! I _hate_ it!"

Edward brought the other fist back over his head, letting out a soft cry as he threw it forward. Roy took hold of his arm and Edward struggled weakly to pull it free.

"I hate it and everyone who lives in it, but I at least wanted to leave proof that I _lived_ here, Roy! I had so many things I wanted to do... so many things that I wanted to be _fucking_ remembered by!"

Edward slid his wrist out from Roy's gentle grasp and beat his hand against Roy's chest. Though it had no effect, he did so again with the other hand.

"And what about you?!" Ed whimpered, his voice breaking. "There's one thing that you can never get back in this world, and that's time! The worst thing that someone can do is steal it from someone who doesn't have any to give in the first place! Two months we've been seeing each other, and in the end, they were wasted, weren't they?! You... you stole those months away from me!"

Roy stepped back and Ed came forward, bringing back his closed first again, but this time, Edward lost his footing and fell forward. The blond let out a short gasp of surprise, and Roy quickly took hold of Ed's wrist and then spun him around so that his back was facing him. Roy wrapped his arms around Edward's chest and drew his now almost skeletal frame close to his body.

To Roy's surprise, Edward didn't struggle to break free. 

Roy held Ed up on his feet, and for a while, the two of them simply stood there in the rain, sharing whatever warmth they had, letting it soak through their clothes and caress their skin.

Roy listened to Edward's ragged breath and slowing heartbeat. Letting out a soft breath, he lowered his head and put his forehead atop Edward's head of soaking hair. In the rain it smelled slightly dusty, but somehow sweet, and fresh, and earthy.

A comfort. A terrible comfort, because it was his fault. Because he knew it should have been Maes that he took comfort in. And yet, Maes was the last person who provided that.  

"I'm just so tired, Roy..." Ed suddenly sung in a soft voice.

Roy held Edward closer to him, almost as if Ed would drift away if he let go. "I... I'm afraid I don't understand..." Roy admitted innocently.

Roy felt, and heard, Edward let out a tired breath. 

"Don't you get it?" Edward whispered. "I'm dying, Roy. And I've only got four months left."

Roy's eyes widened. He felt like his breath had been pulled out of his lungs. His brain went completely clear of anything but that statement which couldn't possibly have been true. 

It was a horrible feeling. Like that that terrible comfort. But sadly, Roy was no stranger to it. 

Just like the first time, his stomach turned and he felt a dark hole, an emptiness and a dread, appear in his throat, and that sickness swelled and wrapped around his heart before squeezing it tight.

"You hurt me," Edward whispered below him.

Roy closed his eyes and slowly wet his lips. "I know," he said hoarsely.

"You stole them from me."

"I know. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry..."

"You're a murderer. You've killed me."

"I know."

"Murderer... you're a murderer."

_Tick-swoosh, tick-swoosh, tick-swoosh, tick-swoosh, tick-swoosh..._

"Murderer," Roy said softly to himself. He flipped the indicator next to the steering wheel upward, signaling that he was going to change lanes and move to the right.

He let a car pass before he looked into his mirrors and moved the car from the lane on the far left to the one in the middle.

His cellphone, which was on the seat beside him, suddenly vibrated twice, notifying him that someone had sent him a text. He looked down at his cellphone for a second, and a shadow was cast across his face as he saw the caller ID.

He grit his back teeth with annoyance. "Dammit, Maes..."

The sounding of a car horn made Roy's eyes snap back to the road, and instantly, he was blinded by the headlights that were rushing toward him. Roy's heart jumped in his chest and the tires screeched against the wet pavement, as in a sharp, jerky motion, he quickly pulled the steering wheel to the right, avoiding the dark shadow of a car in front of him.

Roy stomped his foot on the brake as hard as he could as the back wheels of the car hydroplaned, spinning over not the asphalt, but the water laying on top of it. Roy no longer had control over the car, and was brought along for the ride as its tail end made an arching sweep to the right.

It was then that something large and forceful- a tractor trailer- rammed into the driver's side of the car. Roy's head was violently wrenched to the side and his vision went black. His senses were consumed by the deafening sound of steel crunching with the ease of a sheet of aluminum foil in hand. The windows shattered and glass was sprayed into Roy's surprised face as the car went airborne for a just second. He didn't even had time to shout out as the car was sent tumbling off to the side of the road, spinning head over heels and then crashing through the steel barrier that lined the highway and rolling into the wooded ditch. The middle of the car finally wrapped around the trunk of a tall maple, coming to an abrupt halt.

For the first time in a while, everything was still, except for the cold raindrops that fell through the now open windows.

The car was on its side, and one of the four black wheels turned around slowly, eventually coming to a stop. The impact had been so great that the dashboard moved toward Roy's chest, pinning him between the console and the back of his seat. Roy's limp body dangled slightly downward, his face pale and his eyes open, but unseeing, as warm blood ran down his lips and the side of his face, and fell onto the shattered remains of the window below.

" _What's wrong with me, Roy_?" Edward had whispered into Roy's shirt, " _What have you done to me?"_

A soft and strangled breath escaped from Roy's slightly parted lips. He painfully sucked in a small, short breath of air.

_"You've killed me. So why is it... why is it that I still care for you?"_

The breath escaped from Roy's throat in the form of a wheeze. And after that simple action, he didn't breathe in again.

_"Tragic. That's what it is."_   
  



	12. Time for the Weather

Outside the partly open kitchen window, a late summer storm could be seen forming on the horizon. and black clouds had begun to churn overhead. The sheer white curtain in the window hung static and silent, like all of the creatures dwelling outside who had ducked for cover hours ago.  The air was still and the earth was holding its breath as it put its hands out at either side of itself for balance, and it carefully put one foot in front of the other, slowly walking upon the edge of the abyss. The danger of falling over the edge was imminent.

Suddenly, like the crack of a lightning bolt tearing through the dark plain of sky, the back of a hand collided with a flushed cheek. Bare feet lost their footing on the linoleum kitchen floor, and there was a gasp of surprise, followed by two sickening thuds- one as the brunette woman's temple made contact with the corner of the kitchen table, and another as her body fell hard to the floor.

She lay still.

The quiet returned, followed by the sound of thunder rolling overhead.

Ten year old Roy Mustang felt someone grab the collar of his shirt in their large, calloused hands, and the boy let out a sharp gasp as his head and lower back slammed against the wall of his family's kitchen, sending a piercing pain shooting down his back and stars speckling his vision.

Zihan, Roy's father, slowly squatted down, and the boy let out a ragged breath upon feeling his father's hot breath against his face. Roy's body trembled violently upon getting a whiff of the sickly-sweet smell of alcohol, combined with the smell of sweat and something gone horribly sour.

Roy blinked back the tears that threatened to flow, and he choked back a sob. A noise cracked in his throat from the strain of doing so, and he forgot to breathe as he felt his father's warm lips slowly leave a trail of moist kisses up his neck. Chest trembling, Roy closed his eyes, and those chapped lips locked with his own. Roy began to taste cigarette smoke as a tongue pushed its way between his lips and began to explore the inside of his mouth. Meanwhile, a strong, calloused hand snaked under the hem of his shirt, slowly moving over his stomach and his chest and then slowly going back down, down, down, and further, slipping underneath the elastic band of his underwear.

Roy felt a strange tingling sensation between his legs. It was warm and pleasant- he'd felt it many times before. But it was not something of his own free will. It was something that sent him spinning out of control and in many ways he disliked the feeling. It almost scared him. 

His father's lips pulled away from his. He felt his father momentarily let go of the neck of his shirt, and Roy gave in to his urge to run, to run far away and never look back, but he was only able to take one step before his wrist was grabbed and held with so much force that Roy was afraid it would shatter under the pressure.

Roy's father pinned his tiny wrist to the wall, gluing it there so he couldn't break free, and if tears weren't falling before, they were _definitely_ falling now, the burning tears caressing his red cheeks as gentle as his mother's touch, but continuing down over his trembling chin and down his neck and past the collar of his torn shirt- diminished to nothing less than another sickening violation.

Roy turned his head and shut his eyes tight, wanting to look at anything but his father's face or the figure that lay still on the floor beside the kitchen table, her blue-green eyes empty and unseeing and the pool of red spreading around her head like a halo, her dress turning from white to a sickeningly beautiful pink.

Roy's eyes flew open as he opened his mouth to scream in terror, but no sound came out.

He could see her now.

Oh god, he could see her now. He could see his mother dead on the floor and he couldn't tear his eyes away, no matter how badly he wanted to.

"LOOK AT HER!" Roy's father roared. "LOOK AT YOUR MOTHER- LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE!"

With his vision blurred with tears and his lips trembling, Roy looked into his father's blazing eyes and shook his throbbing head and began to sob huge, gulping sobs that seemed as though they would split him apart.

"I-I-I-I-didn't-I-"

"You did this, Roy! Look at what you've done!"

"It wasn't my fault!" Roy sobbed. "It wasn't-"

When he looked over at his mother out of the corner of his eye, the nausea overtook him and his stomach instantly shot up his throat and into his mouth. Wide eyed, he slapped one hand over his mouth, and Zihan let go of him as he fell to his knees and vomited on the tile floor. The vomit was clear acid, seeing that there was nothing in his stomach to throw up in the first place. The burning acid in his mouth made him queasy and sent another wave of terrible heat and nausea coursing through his small body.

Roy shivered violently, though he wasn't cold. One hand grasped tightly onto the cloth of his shirt. He was hunched forward with his head hanging over the ground, and when he straightened his back again and looked at his mother's body again, bile shot up into his mouth and he vomited once more, falling back onto his quaking hands and knees before dry-heaving. He let out a wet, hacking cough as he clutched his aching abdomen with one hand.

He felt lightheaded. He couldn't remember how to breathe properly and he made desperate wheezing gasps for air as his eyes stung and tears boiled as they ran down his burning face.

He looked up at his father just as the man reeled back his foot, ready to kick, and then the world went black.

That was the day Roy's mother died and Roy was left with his father. The funeral was three days later.

When Roy was twelve, his aunt, Madame Christmas, came to visit, which was a rare occasion indeed. It was during her stay in the family's home that she caught her elder brother in the act of having sex with his only son, causing that chapter of Roy's life to come to a close. Zihan was reported to the police and arrested. Roy got a bit of therapy and then was taken across the country to live with Aunt Chris and his six, much older, female cousins.

Madame Christmas was a rather gruff woman. She wasn't sweet and gentle like Roy's mother.

But Roy owed her everything.

She gave, and unlike her elder brother, she never asked for anything in return. Later in life, Roy would learn that that was what it means to be a parent- to give all you have without expecting anything back.

She gave it her all, but it wasn't enough to fill that void that Roy had.

One thing that people find it hard to believe about children who are abused is that they oftentimes love the person who is hurting them. This happens because the person who is abusing them is often someone they know well and trust very much.

In this case, Roy's father... well, he was his father.

And sadly, for quite a while, he was the only one Roy had. And because the secret they shared got out, he was taken away from him. Roy spend his early teens feeling guilty. And dirty. And insecure. And most of all, lonely, and afraid of abandonment.

But then there was that day. That day that was so vivid in his memory.

Roy met Maes the same way that Edward did. His music wafted down the hall and it took his hand and led him to his high school's almost empty music room. Roy stood in that doorway for a long time, breathlessly watching Maes' fingers dance upon the ivory piano keys.

But unlike Ed, Roy found himself so incredibly moved, that without even realizing it... he had been brought to tears.

_Was the first love even love in the first place?_

No. No, it was not love.

But infatuation?

Yes.

Most definitely.

When the musical composition was done, the bespectacled teenager hung his head over the piano keys and let out a breath he had been holding for quite a while. He turned his head to look at the boy he had felt studying him from the doorway. And to Roy's surprise, a smile spread across pianist's face.

"Why hello there!" the pianist said cheerfully.

When Roy didn't answer, the young pianist's smile suddenly fell and his eyes widened slightly with surprise.

"You aren't... you aren't _crying_ , are you?" he chuckled with disbelief.

Roy's mouth went dry. Even if it wasn't he couldn't have said anything- the words just couldn't come together in his mind as Maes slipped off of the piano bench, put his hands into his pockets, and ambled across the room to greet him. Maes stopped only about a foot away from Roy and studied Roy's glassy eyes before hesitantly reaching up a hand and putting it to his left cheek. Roy flinched away, but seeing that his classmate meant no harm, he relaxed, and the hand was replaced.

Maes smiled gently as he wiped away Roy's tears with his thumb. "Would you look at that..." he whispered. "You have a pretty face... don't you?"

Maes' hand fell to his side and his hazel eyes dropped to the floor, looking almost sad. A second later, they snapped up and met Roy's face again with pupils dilated. "Must be popular with the girls. Am I right?"

The spider had caught the fly. And Roy held onto his captor for dear life.

To become infatuated with or to fall in love with Maes Hughes is like... like falling in love with a storm. There were two sides to Maes. He was the point at which opposing weather systems-gentle and harsh- met and collided, and resulted in high winds that pushed you off of the precipice and sent you falling head over heels down the rabbit hole. Before you reached the bottom, you became tangled in the web he'd spun, playing off of your insecurities and need to fill and become whole. To be infatuated with Maes Hughes is to be caught in a storm with no escape.

_It was a bright and sunny day and the trees on either side of the two lane highway passed in a blur. Ed and Roy sat side by side in the dark blue Ford Mustang Convertible. The hood was down, allowing the wind to whip through their ears and through their hair. Roy knew that music was playing, but for some reason, he was unable to hear it. Roy saw Ed soundlessly sing along with the music playing and he watched as Ed circled his shoulders back and leaned back into his seat, looking over at him from the side with a playful smirk on his face._

And if to be infatuated with Maes Hughes is to be caught in a storm...

_Ed's liquid gold hair whipped around in the air as he triumphantly threw up a fist just before the guitar solo began, and it stayed there as Ed looked over at Roy with a bright smile on his face. Roy stared back, ignoring the stretch of road in front of him as his breath was taken away._

...then to fall in love with Edward Elric is to have the sun hold your hand. And have it guide you out of the abyss of pain and sorrow and guilt and loss, but it makes sure that you remember what you're leaving behind and what you've overcome.

_And that's because you'll only grow stronger as you finally step out into the light._

Roy awoke in a fog.

Somewhere in the distance, he could hear the gentle beeping of a heart rate monitor. 

He was laying on his back and the sterile smell of iodoform hung in the air. The smell of clothes softener clung to the bed sheets under which he lay.

Roy suddenly felt something brush against the skin at his hairline. Like the touch of the sun, it was warm and gentle and light. Someone toyed with his raven hair, carding their fingers through his bangs and then smoothing them out, pushing his hair back and then letting it fall again, playing with it with childlike curiosity.

Roy tried to crack his eyes open, but doing so was a struggle. His eyelids and his limbs and his chest all felt so incredibly heavy.

"Shh..." a voice hushed, resting a hand on Roy's forehead. "Back to sleep, bastard. Breathe easy- they're putting you under again."

The voice paused. 

"You're very lucky, you know that? Your heart stopped two times."

Roy's lips formed Edward's name, but no sound came out.

"I'll come back to visit later, alright?"

Roy felt the hand remove itself from his forehead and he felt Edward plant a tender kiss there. Roy's breath slowed and his thoughts became fuzzy and jumbled. Just before his vision faded to black again, he heard Edward speak once more.

"Get well soon."  



	13. Equivalent Exchange

It was a about a week after Winry's parents had died and a few days after the funeral. A certain heaviness was weighing down everyone's hearts. Grief was a dark and shadowy creature that latched onto their backs and followed them everywhere they went.

Edward remembered his mother slowly squatting down before he and his younger brother after they had finished breakfast one morning. Breakfast had been an unusually silent affair, and they had left the kitchen table in record time. Trisha silently studied her eldest son's face and then she studied that of her youngest. Alphonse silently reached for Edward's hand, and Edward took it in his, squeezing it gently.

"Winry's going through a rough time, boys. We all are. I know that things are looking down, but she needs you boys to put on a brave face, alright? Can you do that for her?"

"Will it make Winry feel better?" Alphonse asked curiously.

"I don't know. But it doesn't hurt to try, does it?"

Edward and Alphonse exchanged glances before they both nodded curtly in unison.

"Mhm."

" _Put on a brave face_ ," Edward said to himself as he walked down the hospital corridor.

He tucked his hands into the pockets of his heavy sweatshirt as he looked at the numbers on the doors that lined either side of the clean, white hallway, looking for the room that Roy had been moved to a few weeks ago. He eventually made it to a room two doors down from the end of the hall. The door was open, and hesitantly looking inside, Edward saw the back of a wheelchair in the center of the room next to the hospital bed. The young raven-haired man sitting in the chair had his head bowed, and seemed to either be reading or taking a quick nap.

Edward forced a small smile upon his face. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and leaned casually against the door frame. He gently knocked his knuckles against the wood.

"Hey there, idiot! Been a while, hasn't it?"

Roy looked up from the book he was reading and carefully spun his wheelchair around. Edward closed his mouth, stopping himself from taking a sharp intake of breath.

Roy had four, angry, jagged scars going over his left cheek and the bridge of his nose, which were all still slightly pink in color. A black eye patch covered the damage that had been done to his right eye and the cheekbone below it.  His dark hair had lost its luster and his tired eyes were missing that every present spark that lived inside of them.

Roy was a lot better now. But it reminded Ed of how he looked before and it reminded Ed of the photographs he had seen of the destroyed car in the ditch and it's bloody seats and dashboard and windows.  

Roy noticed that Edward was staring and frowned as he observed his hollow cheeks and the dark bruises beneath his eyes.

"You look like crap," he stated.

"Likewise."

"I haven't seen you or talked to you in almost a month," Roy said calmly. "What is it that you came here to say, Fullmetal?"

Edward silently looked down at his feet. He looked up again, narrowed his eyes, and pointed a finger at Roy. "Equivalent exchange!" he cried with a shadow of a smirk on his face.

"What now?" Roy said in a puzzled voice.

"YOU STOLE TWO MONTHS OF MY LIFE, SO I'LL STEAL TWO MONTHS OF YOURS!"

Roy shook his head and his brow knitted with confusion. "I still don't know what in the world you're trying to say..."

"For the next two months, you, Roy Mustang...  _are going to be my bitch_!" Ed said in an animated voice, "Don't look too excited now! You're going to follow me around and do everything that I ask you to. And by everything, I mean _everything_ , no questions asked!"

Roy's shoulders fell and he silently looked down at his lap. He let out a quiet, tired sigh before speaking.

"I can't follow you around, Ed, not everywhere. You should know that, I mean..." His eyes lifted and met Edward's. "Look at me."

Edward looked down at Roy's legs and with a heavy heart, the sorry fact fell upon him for the hundredth time that day. It was the reason why Maes had disappeared off of the map and it was the reason why Maes felt so guilty even though it wasn't his fault.

After the accident, Roy was paralyzed from the waist down.

Edward lifted his head and a few seconds passed before he spoke again.

"I'll take whatever you can give," he said, forcing a small smile upon his face. "And I expect that you'll give it your all because you're Roy fucking Mustang, Mustang."

One corner of Roy's mouth turned upward, which was something Ed considered to be a victory.

"You make a valid point, Fullmetal, but I still don't understand the reason why you're..."

"I'm not asking for much," Ed interrupted, speaking in a calm voice. "I thought I'd go to East City or something. See the sights, you know? And you could tag along. Or we could just go back to school for a while and you could help me sort through my CD collection."

Things suddenly clicked in Roy's head, but it was no cause for celebration. "You're taking your farewell tour...aren't you?" he asked.

Ed slowly blinked his golden eyes before he nodded his head slightly.

"And you want me to come along," Roy guessed.

Ed nodded his head again.

"How come?"

Ed shrugged his shoulders. "I've got three months at most now. Why not?"

"Why do you want me to come along?"

"Alphonse has school," Ed said honestly, "And if he came along, he would just fuss over me the entire time. And... I don't want anybody else. You need to pay for what you did Roy, so... will you do it?"

Roy wheeled over to the doorway and stopped in front of Edward. Edward watched as Roy put his left arm behind his back and put his right one across his waist before bowing forward slightly.

"Well then," Roy said in a clear voice. "I, Roy Mustang, accept the position as your bitch and will fulfill my duties to the best of my ability."

"Like you had a choice," Ed said, hitting the side of Roy's head gently with the back of his hand. "God, you're a fucking nerd. Anyway, as my first request, I want you to come out with me to the courtyard. When's the last time you got sunlight?"

A few minutes later, Roy was wheeled down the hall and brought out onto a cement path that cut across a grassy lawn. A few other patients were outside too, accompanied by nurses or family members. He and Ed went to a more isolated part of the yard and stationed him beneath a blooming pear tree.

A couple of creamy white petals fell onto Roy's lap as Edward jumped up and down beside him, trying to grab hold of some of the flowers above him that were just out of his reach. Ed could hear the flowers and their branches laughing at him now.

Roy let out a tired sigh. "You're just as short as I remember," he stated coolly.

"I'M NOT SHORT!" Ed cried, his face red. He pointed a finger at Roy. "For that comment, your new nickname is gonna be Hot Wheelz with a Z, you got that, Hot Wheelz?!"

"I can move around pretty well know, but I'm not exactly burning rubber, Ed."

Ed turned his attention back to the branches above. He squatted down a bit, trying to get more spring into his jump.

"You used to be sex on legs and now you're sex on wheels. Hence, Hot Wheelz. Makes sense to me!" he said, jumping upward and reaching up a hand.

Roy continued to read the book he had brought while Edward worked hard at collecting flowers from the branches above, which he was doing for reasons unknown to him. A few minutes later, Edward stood and Roy felt something being placed atop his head. Looking up from his book, he patted his head curiously and felt a crown of flowers encircling his hair.

To Ed's surprise, after finding out what it was, Roy left it atop his head.

"There. Now you look like a fucking fairy," Ed said, plopping down onto the grass beside Roy's wheelchair. "But I have to admit, there are few things more attractive to me than a man who feels secure enough with his masculinity to wear something as feminine as a flower crown."

Closing his eyes, Edward put his hands behind his head and laid down on the grass. He closed one leg over the other, and was silent for a long while. Roy looked around, silently taking in the sunny and warm atmosphere.

"My dad used to make my mom flower wreaths when she was alive" Ed said suddenly below him. "My old man is a class A jerk for leaving her, but when they were together and he didn't have a stick up his ass, they were probably one of the sappiest couples alive. At least, I'd like to think so."

"But what about your mother?" Roy asked with curiosity. "Was she nice?"

Roy watched as a sleepy smile spread across Edward's face. "She was wonderful," he said softly. "Wonderful in every way."

Roy blinked and look back across the lawn. "I'd like to pay a visit your mother," he said.

Edward sat up and his eyes lit up with surprise. Saying that really meant a lot to him. Roy could tell just by seeing the look on his face.

"Really? You'd really like to meet her?"

"Of course."

And that's how the two of them ended up in Resembool.

Edward was tired and had a low-grade fever that day, and so he stayed at the house while Winry drove Roy, and his wheelchair, down the road to the cemetery. She paid respects to her mother and father, leaving Roy before the headstone belonging to Trisha Elric.

Roy sat up straight before bowing slightly out of respect.

"Hello, Mrs. Elric, it's nice to meet you. My name is Roy Mustang and I'm Ed's roommate at the university he goes to. Um, you have a wonderful son by the way. He's handsome and he's smart and he gets good grades, and he's nice to people." Roy nodded his head to the side. "Generally." he added.

"He drinks his milk and he doesn't swear at all and he's never consumed alcohol because he's underage, and he's never screwed anybody, especially not me, and that's the truth. Like everything I said beforehand..." Roy said, his eyes shifting to the side.

"Anyway, like I said, your son is a virgin," he continued, "And a saint. A saintly virgin. And we all wish that there were only more people like him in the world. The only thing you can hope for would be that he had better taste in men. You see... I did something horrible to him. Now it's safe to call me a class A dick wad. You have every right, if possible, to strike me down from above."

Roy paused and looked down at his toes.

"I didn't come here to talk about that though. I have something to ask. You see...your son is sick. _Very_ sick. And he wouldn't say it aloud and he might not act like it, but he's also very scared. So please, if at all possible... please make Edward better again."

Roy opened his eyes.

In the present day, he sat alone in one of the guest rooms in the Rockbell residence. Roy's reflection stared back at him in the mirror with a somber look on his face and he let out a quiet, shaky sigh as he used his hand to flatten the front of his black three piece suit.

If Mrs. Elric had heard his plea for help... well, she didn't answer.  
  


 


	14. Question and Answer

Edward never got to embark on his farewell tour.

He and Roy went to Resembool and then they never left. Just about as soon as they had arrived, Edward's health took a nosedive.

Ed no longer had the energy to stand by himself. He spent most of the day sleeping in bed. He threw up everything he ate, and so, he stopped eating altogether. More than a couple sips of water at a time made him sick to his stomach. With a 102 degree fever, his face was constantly flushed and there was an ever-present glassy and far away look in his eyes.

His hair was starting to fall out. His beautiful blond hair that Roy loved so very much came out in clumps when Roy tried to brush it for him in the mornings. But the two of them put of a brave face. And pretended that it didn't matter, even though it scared them so very much. 

Roy could barely stand it- seeing him like that. But still, he stayed.

Roy currently sat next to Edward on a bed in the Rockbell residence, and the two of them were propped up against the pillows. Roy put an arm behind Edward's back, and taking hold of his shoulder, he lifted him upright slightly before he turned and reached for the glass of water that was resting upon the side table. All the while, Roy could feel a feverish heat radiating through Ed's pajama top.

"Drink it slowly, alright?" Roy said softly, putting the glass to Edward's lips. "You don't wanna hurt yourself..."

With sleepy, half closed eyes, Edward greedily took a couple sips of water. Roy brought the glass slightly away, and letting out a quiet whine, Edward brought his head forward, looking for more. Roy silently indulged him and brought the glass back to his lips again.

Ed took another large gulp and swallowed. As Roy put the glass back on the table, Edward leaned back against the pillows again, panting slightly.

"Hey..." Ed called, his voice barely louder than a whisper. "Hey, Roy?"

"What's up, Fullmetal?"

"Let's... let's go on a trip," Ed said quietly, letting his head fall upon Roy's warm shoulder.

Roy felt his heart swell within his chest. Perhaps that feeling was content. Or happiness. But whichever one it was, it quickly faded upon the realization that the wish Ed had desired simply could not be. But still, he asked. 

"A trip where?"

"We'll... we'll go back to the beach. And... and we'll take Al. And you won't do a striptease... and I won't confess my love... and I won't get drunk, and we won't go back to the dorms and I won't fuck you, because all of that was just one horrible mistake, not the fucking, but everything else, and... and we'll just stay there on the sand. And we'll build sand castles. And after you make yours, I'll come over and kick it down." Edward paused and blinked slowly. A small, tired smile spread across his face. "Come on, Roy, let's go to the beach."

Roy shook his head and swallowed back the lump that had formed in his throat. "Winry and Granny Pinako wouldn't like that," he said hoarsely. "I don't think Alphonse would either."

"We'll run away. We'll... we'll run away and it'll be just you and me. I wanna be anywhere but here..." Ed admitted looking up at Roy with golden eyes glassy with fever. "But I'd stay or go absolutely anywhere with you- _anywhere_..."

" _You need to stay in bed,"_ Roy said firmly _._

When he felt Edward's shoulders fall slightly with disappointment, his heart went out to him. And putting a hand of top of his, Roy spoke in a soft and reassuring voice. 

 _"_ We'll go to the beach when you're feeling better, alright? August maybe? When you're all better and it's warm out?" he offered, squeezing Ed's fingers gently.

"I _am_ feeling better," Ed stated hoarsely, shakily drawing away the bed sheets. "Look. I'll sh-show you..."

Edward's body trembled as he slowly moved one leg out from underneath the bed sheets. Roy looked on with a worried expression on his face.

"Ed, you really shouldn't be moving around; you'll wear yourself out!" he warned, reaching for the blond.

Roy's hand was brushed away. Ed slowly swung one leg over the side of the bed, his entire body already trembling like a leaf in the wind.

"Ed, I don't think that you should be-"

"N-No," Ed whispered, concentrating on the floor as he swung another leg over the side. "I'm f-f-fine. Look..."

Edward breathed heavily with effort as pale toes slowly reached toward the warped wood floor. They gently made contact with the ground and Edward let out a soft, pained gasp as he slid himself off of the bed. Roy's eyes widened as Edward let go of the edge of the mattress, and bowing at the waist and putting his arms out for balance, he was able to stand on his own. Edward slowly straightened his back, and with shoulders heaving, he looked over his shoulder at Roy, and the corners of his trembling lips turned upward into a small smile.

A moment later Roy saw Edward's face go beet red. The blond took in a sharp breath, and before Roy knew it, his heart wrenched as he watched Ed's legs cave beneath him, dragging his weak body to the floor.

"Ed?!"

Edward caught himself by putting one bent arm over the side of the bed and now sat on the floor with his legs curled beneath him. His head was lowered, and his bangs fell over his face so that Roy couldn't begin to guess what was going through his mind.

Edward slowly turned his head and looked over at Roy with a pained look.

"That's all I'm asking..." Ed said in a slightly slurred voice. "Take me to the beach, Roy."

"Goodness, Ed, I said when you're better, alright?!" Roy replied. "Do you need help getting back into bed? I can call Alphonse..."

"You want me to be happy... don't you?" Edward asked calmly.

"Of course!" Roy said quickly, "Just get back in bed!"

"It's March, right?" Ed questioned.

"Yes, that's correct."

Edward blinked and turned his body so he could put his folded arms atop the edge of the bed. His lips parted slightly and his brow furrowed with thought. "And you... you still have to do everything I say. Because you're my bitch, right?"

Roy's eyes narrowed and then rolled with annoyance. "I'm not calling myself your bitch if that's what you're shooting for..."

What Edward asked next caught Roy off guard, causing his mouth to fall open with genuine surprise. There was no obvious change within the younger teen, no hesitation. Because there was no need for any.

"Marry me?" Ed breathed.

Roy blinked, unsure of what he had heard, was in fact, what he had heard. He voice came out so much softer than usual.

"... _what_?"

"I said-"

Ed coughed harshly into the crook of his arm a couple of times. He cleared his throat. "I asked you to marry me, bitch!"

"Are you... are you fucking with me?"

Edward coughed twice into his arm before speaking again. He wiped spittle away from his lips with the back of his automail hand and shook his head. "No, I'm... I'm _not_ fucking with you- at least not at the moment! Roy... will you marry me?" he asked in as firm a tone as he could muster.

"You know, Ed, I'm..."

Roy paused and a nervously carded fingers back through his already disheveled hair. "I'm... I'm a horrible person," he explained with a pained expression, "You know that... right?"

Edward shook his head with denial. "No, no... No, you _aren't_."

Roy tilted his head slightly to the side and smiled a small, sympathetic smile. "I really am. You don't want to marry me."

"But I do..." Ed whined softly.

"You're not in your right state of mind, Ed, and... I mean... you just _fell_ out of bed; you don't know what the hell you're talking about!"

Edward narrowed his eyes. "I- I walked out of bed... with my own accord..." he puffed, "and...I'm dying, but I'm not _brain dead_ , Mustang!" he said, weakly bringing a fist down upon the mattress. He was so frustrated, he looked like he was going to cry. "I know what I want- I know what I _fucking_ want! And... it doesn't matter that I don't have the time for anyone else- I don't want to settle for anyone else! Not ever!" 

"Me using you to cheat on another man doesn't exactly call for a marriage proposal, Edward!" Roy shouted.

"That... that was a month and a few weeks ago!"

"Exactly!" Roy cried.

"That... that was... e-eons ago..."

" _ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND_?!"

"Humor me here..." Edward breathed heavily. "And I want a simple answer! Will you marry me... yes, or no?!"

With a pained face, Roy shook his head once more. 

"No," he said in a voice barely louder than a whisper. His throat felt so tight, he could barely get the words out. "Ed, I... I can't. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..."

With the look on his face, Edward's emotions were as clear as day. Crushed. But still, he managed to lift himself back onto the bed. And Roy silently waiting as he settled back into his position beside him. A head was set atop Roy's lap, the owner turning away and letting out a ragged breath before speaking.

"I... know that you return my feelings, so... so why not?" Ed whispered, his voice breaking. "I don't understand. I don't understand..."

"I _hurt you_ , Ed," Roy said gently, tenderly smoothing out what was left of Ed's hair. "And I don't want you to marry me just because you're... just because you're dying."

"You made a mistake," Ed said in a firm voice. "I realize that and I accept that... and I want to move on. You're my friend, Roy. And I forgive you. And I asked you to come me along with me because I think that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. So... is that so hard to understand?"


	15. In Sickness

Two weeks later, Roy sat alone in one of the guest rooms in the Rockbell residence, his reflection staring back at him in the mirror. With a somber look on his face, and Roy let out a quiet, shaky sigh as he used his hand to flatten the front of his black three-piece suit. When he was satisfied, he turned his wheelchair around, went out the open doorway, and into the empty hallway. Even before he turned into a sunny room at the end of the hall- Edward's bedroom- he heard familiar voices chatting with one another in hushed tones. 

When he entered the room, everyone stopped what they were doing and turned to look at him. making him feel almost a bit bashful. But his shyness lessened when Hawkeye, who was wearing a simple yellow sun dress, smiled slightly back at him. 

"Took you long enough, Roy."

Roy smiled sweetly back at her. Standing around the bed, in which Edward sat upright, were Alphonse, Hohenheim, Pinako, Madam Christmas, Havoc, Armstrong, Mr. and Mrs. Curtis, and a handful of other friends. Smiling gratefully at people as he wheeled past them, Roy made his way over to his husband-to-be's bedside.

Winry brought a small bouquet of white lilies to Edward, which the young man took gratefully.

"Thank you," he said softly, closing his eyes and burying his nose into the soft, sweet and aromatic petals. "They're great."

Roy gave Winry an appreciative nod before he bent down slightly and planted a tender kiss on Ed's warm cheek.

"Doin' alright?" Roy asked softly, carefully sitting upright. "Are you too tired? If you want to sleep, we can wait. Nobody's going anywhere- not if I can help it."

"No, I'm fine. But thanks."

A small, tired smile spread across Ed's lips. Roy reached over and held Ed's hand in his, and he stroked his thumb across his cool skin in a soothing circular motion. Izumi cleared her throat and placed herself before the two of them. 

"Are you ready, boys?"

"Ready as I'll ever be," Ed replied. "How 'bout you, Hot Wheelz?"

"Same," Roy answered with a smirk. "Go ahead."

Izumi lifted her head, and looking at the wedding guests, she clapped her hands slightly to get their attention. The room quickly quieted and everyone turned to look at her. Smiling politely, she clasped her hands together and made eye contact with the guests.

With that, the ceremony began.

"Family and friends, hello and welcome. We give thanks to Edward and Roy who have invited us into this lovely home this afternoon. They are thrilled that you are here on this day of gladness and good fortune to share in their joy during this wonderful moment in their lives. By your presence, you celebrate with them the love they have discovered in each other and you support their decision to commit themselves to one another."

Madame Christmas and Hohenheim exchanged knowing glances and smiled softly to themselves. Izumi continued to speak, and Winry took hold of Alphonse's hand. Al gave it a gentle squeeze while looking on at the face of his elder brother.

"We are all here to learn about what it means to love and what it means to _be_ loved. To watch the miracle of love exchanged enriches each and every one of us. Therefore, we appreciate the opportunity to witness the shared love of this beautiful couple, who will now join each other in marriage," Izumi said, motioning a hand to Roy and Ed. "Marriage is a very special place. Marriage is an oasis, a haven, and a sanctuary where we can safely grow and learn about ourselves in the presence of another. Like the harmony with the melody, marriage weaves two lives together, creating a deeper and richer song. We are honored that Edward and Roy are sharing some of their beautiful music with us on this day."

With a smile on her face and tears sparkling in her eyes, Izumi turned to Edward. She cleared her throat slightly before speaking again.

"Edward, repeat after me..."

Golden eyes glassy with threatening tears, Edward turned his head and looked at Roy with a soft smile on his face.

"Roy Mustang..." he said, "I take you to be my husband. To share with you the laughter... To kiss away the tears..."

Ed paused for a second, biting his lower lip as his emotions ran away with him. Roy felt his heart swell in his chest. Edward let out a shaky breath, and forcing a small smile upon his face, he continued. "And to give you all the love in my heart, as long as we both shall live."

It was Roy's turn. He didn't feel ready to speak- his mouth had gone dry and butterflies fluttered around in his stomach. But he was determined to power through.

"Roy, repeat after me..." Izumi said.

"Edward Elric. I take you to be my husband. To share with you...to share with you the laughter... To kiss away the tears... And I promise... to give you all of the love in my heart... as long as we both shall live."

Alphonse bowed his head and walked around the bed with the ring in tow. Edward shakily retrieved it from the palm of his younger brother's hand.

"Edward, as you place the ring on Roy's finger, please repeat after me."

Ed then took Roy's hand in his weak grasp, and with eyes locked on Roy's face, he slowly slipped it onto Roy's ring finger.

"With this ring...I marry you and bind my life to yours. It is a symbol of my eternal love. My everlasting friendship. And the promise... and the promise of all my remaining tomorrows."

Roy's breath caught in his throat. Hawkeye walked over and handed the ring to him. He silently took the gold band which was warm from Hawkeye's grasp.

"Roy, as you place the ring on Edward's finger, please repeat after me..."

Roy took Edward's hand and continued to look downward as he slowly slipped the ring on.

"With this... with this ring, I marry you... and bind my life to yours. It is a s-symbol of my... my eternal love. My... ever... my everlasting..." Roy paused, and quickly pressed a trembling hand over his mouth. "I'm sorry, I just need a moment," he said quickly to Izumi.

"It's alright," Izumi said with an understanding smile.

"My eternal love, my everlasting friendship," Roy continued, "And the promise of all my remaining tomorrows."

Armstrong stood in the corner, both his face and the tears in his eyes sparkling. Havoc shot him an accusatory look.

"Come on, Armstrong, get a grip!" he whispered.

"I can't help it... these t-tears have been passed down the Armstrong line for generations!"

"That makes no sense!" Havoc said loudly.

"Edward and Roy, we have heard your promise to share your lives in marriage," Izumi said. "We recognize and respect the covenant you have made here this day with each and every one of us as witness. Therefore in the honesty and sincerity of what you have said and done here today and by the power vested in me by the Region of Eastern Amestris, it is my honor, and my great delight, to declare you married and partners in life... _for_ life. You may seal your vows with a kiss."  
  
  



	16. Freedom

The last few days were dark.

The bedroom, which on their wedding day, had been filled with the aroma lilies now smelled of a sickness that was stronger than ever before.

Edward looked so small lying there in bed. His skin was as pale as the sheets surrounding him and he had a sweaty sheen on his forehead as he tossed and turned and murmured to himself in a feverish heat. His blond hair was lose and either stuck to the moisture on his forehead and neck or it lay spilling over the pillows. For a few days he had been quiet, peacefully sleeping away hour after hour.

The restlessness was new.

Edward's body trembled underneath the sheets, and from half closed eyes, he watched as Roy took a wet cloth from the large plastic bowl on the side table and wrung it out before carefully draping it over Ed's forehead

Roy listened to Edward breathe. He never knew that it could be so scary- simply listening to someone breathing.

There was loud gasp. And then silence for a few agonizing seconds.

Just when you thought you would never hear another breath, there it came again- a loud wheezing gasp. And then again, silence fell upon the room. Such an awful silence. So many thoughts, and so many feelings, and so many unspoken words tired up into a single one that does not do it justice alone.

Silence. 

Roy blinked with surprise when he heard Edward speak for the first time in a long time, his voice quiet and hoarse.

"Stop it, Roy," he whispered.

A second passed before Roy continued to gently dab the cloth against Edward's head. "You have a fever," he explained. When he spoke, he spoke as if he were speaking to a child. "You have a fever. We need to bring it down, alright?"

"Please... don't touch me..." Ed whispered.

Something in Ed's voice made Roy's stomach turn. He slowly and shakily brought his hand away from his husband's forehead and put the cloth back into the bowl. 

"Did I... did I do something wrong?" he asked worriedly.

Edward took in another loud gasp for air before speaking again. "No... you... didn't do anything wrong... Roy, just..."

Roy leaned forward slightly and took Edward's flesh hand in his. He felt Edward flinch slightly under his touch. "What is it?" he asked with concern, "What do you need?"

Edward wet his lips and turned his body away, hiding his face. 

"Go home, Roy."

A small smile of understanding spread across Roy's face, only to fall with the bow of his head as he took one of Edward's skeletal hands in his, his grip gentle as if he were handling a baby bird. The same bird that could spread its wings and fly away at a moment. For that is the definition of brevity. 

"I _am_ home," Roy choked, massaging Ed's knuckles with his thumb. "I _am_ home..." he repeated with a shallow nod.

"Go... go home. Go back to Central City. Go back to your aunt."

"I'm not going anywhere without you. I'm staying right here." 

Roy saw Edward's chest shake as it heaved upward. Edward still kept his face turned away. His shoulders visibly hitched upward a bit. "Is it... is it... that hard to understand? I... I don't ever... wanna see your face again. It... hasn't been... two months... yet... so you still... have to do... whatever... I say. No... no questions asked. So leave. And don't come back, not ever."

Roy's mouth fell open slightly.

"Why are you... still here? I told you... to leave. I told you to leave..." Ed repeated in a quieter voice.

"I'm not leaving you! You can't just push me away like that!" Roy cried. A beat passed, and he bowed his head slightly, his voice going soft as he searched for the words to say within the threads of the blanket draped over his lap. "Do you... can you even _begin_ _to understand_... how much you mean to me?"

"Stop it!" Ed sobbed, "Oh god, just stop it..."

With those words, Roy took hold of Edward's shoulder and roughly rolled him over. As soon as he did, he felt his heart violently wrench in his chest, leaving him breathless.

Edward looked at him from the corner of his eye, his golden eyes glassy and the whites now fuchsia from the hot, salty tears that abused them and rolled down his flushed face which was twisted with silent agony. He was biting his trembling lower so hard that Roy was afraid it would draw blood. A strangled sob racked his malnourished body as the tears falling from his eyes rolled over his jaw and down his neck. He slowly opened and closed his mouth struggling to take in air before he spoke quickly so not to let a wail escape from his throat.

"I don't want you to see me like this. Get out. Now."

Roy made no move to follow Edward's command. He was too shocked to move anyway.

Looking at Roy pleadingly, Edward clenched his jaw in fear of having a wail escape. "I said _leave_ for fucks sake!" he cried out before his throat clenched. "I hate you..." he choked quietly. Biting his lower lid, he shook his head, ignoring  the tears that streamed down his face. And he repeated his words over and over again, not to affirm himself of their validity, but because he knew that they were true. 

"I love you, just go- I love you,  just go... I love you, just go..."

Roy watched helplessly as Ed's chest head craned back and his back arched slightly up off of the mattress as a howl of despair tormented his weak body like a sinner possessed. He threw the back of an arm over his eyes as he openly wept.

Tears rolled down Roy's own face and burned his eyes as he heard Ed's teeth chatter together as he tried to stop himself from gulping the much need air that had become so thin. 

"Go, Roy! For fuck's sake, just go..." he said before taking shallow, gulping breaths.

With his vision blurred, Roy quickly took hold of his husband's ring-adorned hand, and without a word, he brought it to his lips, kissing the back of it before setting it down upon the bed sheets. His breath caught in his throat, and in his chest, as he put his hands to the wheels of his wheelchair and turned himself around.

He wheeled himself to the door.

Just before he went out, he paused, and looked back at his husband who he heard sobbing in bed.

Biting his lip, he quickly turned his head back to the hall. And wiping the tears away from his eyes with the back of his sleeve, he rolled away.


	17. Departure

I asked Winry to drive me home.

And out of the goodness of her heart, she did.

We didn't say a word to one another as we made the five hour trip across the sunny Eastern Amestrian countryside.


	18. .

...I never saw you again.


	19. What I Needed

You died in your sleep early the next morning, hours before the sun came up. You didn't pass away with a small, sleepy smile on your face as people seem to aspire to. According to Winry, you went with tears trailing down your cheeks.

I talk to Winry a lot nowadays. We've become close.

Alphonse doesn't say much to anyone really. He keeps to himself...but I suppose that you can't blame him.

I spoke with Winry the day after, over the phone, and she said...she said that when you were laying there, crying with an arm over your eyes...you said it aloud.

You said that you were afraid.

You weren't ready to go; you were so scared, you were so very scared, and I only wish that you would have let me stay there with you.

I oftentimes wonder why you didn't, but then eventually, I remember.

You tended to have my best interest in mind.

You told me about how you hesitated when putting Nair in my shampoo. That's a silly example. And the graffiti on my car made you so upset. And then you wanted me to tag along on your farewell tour, in part, to cheer me up when I was feeling down about my condition.

And finally...you told me to leave you.

You thought that if I was there when you left, I probably wouldn't have been able to pull through and move forward.

I think you were right.

Seeing you suffering during that slow and painful descent toward the end...that's not closure. No, not for me.

To go out that door by my own accord. That's what I needed. I needed to be ripped away fast and quick like a bandaid. One short and painful tear and then I was left tumbling through the air with nothing and no one to hold on to...

...left feeling numb for a very long while.

Left staring out the car window. With a blank look in my eyes. Chin on hand as the world passes by and wind toying with my hair, whispering sweet nothings into my ears, all going unheard.

It was not the voice I wanted to hear.

Left drowning myself in drink alone in the cold and empty room that we once shared, drink thick and the taste of black licorice lingering on my tongue and a fire burning in my throat.

You knew I needed all that.


	20. ..

**Of course I knew you needed that. Who do you think I am?**


	21. ...

Yeah, I suppose you're right.

You know...I told her the first time I talked to her.

I told your mother that you were smart. And unlike many of the other things I said, that wasn't a lie.

It was a fact. A truth.

And there is no shame in telling a truth. There can only be shame in the truth itself.

I came back and visited your mother many times after you left.

I talk to her about you. We became close.

We tell truths about you behind your back.

**And is there shame in any of these truths?**

 

No.

Never.

 

**If there is no shame in these truths, then say it again. You know which one I want to hear...**


	22. Three Words

"Edward and Roy, we have heard your promise to share your lives in marriage. We recognize and respect the covenant you have made here this day with each and every one of us as witness. Therefore in the honesty and sincerity of what you have said and done here today and by the power vested in me by the Region of Eastern Amestris, it is my honor, and my great delight, to declare you married and partners in life...for life. You may now seal your vows with a kiss."

...oh... the kiss.

It was a desperate kiss. Desperate and frustrated.

They were frustrated by how short life is.

They felt like they had been cheated.

It was desperate and filled with frustration, but it was also soft and tender and sweet. It was perfect and worth a thousand times more than any other, almost, just almost, making up for the thousand more they would never have the chance to share.

As the couple broke away for air, clapping and whoops of joy were heard from their wedding guests, though the sound seemed to be coming from far off in the distance.

Edward let out a gentle breath and smiled at his husband.

With tears in his eyes, Roy smiled back.

 

And he spoke a truth.

 

 

 

 

 

**Fin.**

**...From the middle, to the beginning, to The End.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! I just wanted to thank you for taking the time to read my fanfic, because that really does mean a lot to me. The fanfic itself means a lot to me as well- at the time, I was in a rough place, and I was thinking about running away from home. But I realized that I had nowhere to go, and so I was going to solve my problems through alternative means. But I didn't. And things got better, and I sat down, and I wrote this fanfic.
> 
> I've edited it multiple times since then, and it would be very helpful for me if you'd leave a comment and tell me what you think so I can make the story better for you. But whether you leave a comment or not, I hope you have a nice day.
> 
> Bye!


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